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Doomsday Redux The implausibility of the entire movie was incredible. From beginning to end it defied logic and reality. The movie opens much like the trailer. The "Reaper Virus" has devastated Scotland. (I can't believe a virus would be called that in this day and age, but that's the least of the impossibilities.) An 18-mile wall has been built and the seas have been mined and patrolled to keep the virus from spreading. Soldiers are manning the last fence before the final evacuation of troops. The crowd trying to escape surges and gets mowed down by the army. A woman and her child huddle behind a car to avoid the bullets. The little girl has her eye shot out, but her mother gets her on a helicopter out of the country. That girl grows up to be Rhona Mitra. Get this, she has a glass eye that's also a video camera. She takes it out often and throws in on the ground and watches the video on her watch. Then without washing it she puts it back in her eye. Very sanitary. The virus reemerges. London must be isolated. Crack team needs to be sent into Scotland to find the cure that must exist, because of the survivors. Rhona Mitra leads the team. The crack squad gets ambushed and captured by a large group of punk rock cannibals, losing about half of their squad in the process. How do I know they're cannibals? They cook one of the prisoners and eat him. That's right. This movie has plenty of gore. A ridiculous amount, but if you don't have logic you might as well go for the gore. One strange thing was that right as the crack squad entered Scotland they were blocked by a giant herd of cows. Now, why would people turn to cannibalism when there was so much fresh beef for them to eat? I know, I'm expecting logic from an illogical movie. It just so happens that the leader of the cannibals is the son of Dr. Kane who the crack squad is looking for. He's had a bit of a falling out with his dad. However, his sister just happens to be a prisoner too, so she helps the remaining crack squad escape on a steam engine. Skip ahead about ten minutes and a medieval knight approaches and captures them. Dr. Kane has set up shop in a medieval Scottish castle. Everyone is dressed like they're at the Renaissance Fair. It's completely ridiculous. Kane informs them that he doesn't have a cure. They're just naturally immune. After an unbelievable fight and escape, we get to the Bentley. It's been sitting unused in a fallout shelter crate for thirty years and starts right up. Which sets up the Road Warrior segment of the movie. The punk rock cannibals are waiting for them. They all have 30 year old vehicles adorned with skulls and other spooky things. Strangely, the Bentley can't outrun any of these hunks of junk. Not quite the product placement I'd want, but anyway. There's lots of jumping from car to car, and cars blowing up at the slightest collision. It was like I was in the 80's all over again. That brings me to one of my many complaints about the movie. In many of the fight sequences, they were so chaotic I couldn't tell what was going on. It was a jumble of fists and feet and teeth. I guess they were trying to capture the frenetic actions, but it helps us follow things better if we can tell who's hitting who. Finally, the group is down to just the daughter, one soldier and Rhona Mitra. Rhona has figured out that the daughter is the cure. They can use her naturally-immune blood to make a vaccine. Now, how could thousands of doctors and scientists not figure that out? Instead, a soldier with no scientific background fighting off cannibals and knights in armor does. I didn't understand the last ten to fifteen minutes. Not that the rest of the movie followed logic, but the last few scenes didn't fit. It was like they cut out a section of the movie that would help explain why people were where they were. I'm not complaining. I am glad to trade a shorter movie for a bit of confusion on my part. Let's see how I did on my predictions and recommendation. I said: The movie will end with an ultimate showdown between Mitra and her chief antagonist. She'll emerge victorious and save humanity from the virus in the process. At that point I'll be looking at my watching wondering why I wasted my time on this movie.Exactly right. Now for my recommendation, I said: This one will suck and suck hard. The action sequences will be unbelievable, and cliched. Instead of watching this, go rent The Road Warrior or Escape from New York instead.Once again I am spot on. Avoid this one like the plague. Filed under Musings by Brian - Fri Mar 14, 2008 @ 2:35 PM (Permalink - Discuss) |
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