Washington D.C. - Members of the American Dental Association testifying
before the 9/11 Commission identified the gap in Condoleezza Rice’s
teeth as a major security threat.
Regis Lasko, DDS, showed the problem by displaying dental records
of Dr. Rice. "As you can see here, between the incisors, along
the apex of the dental arch," Lasko pointed at a large projection of Rice's
smile, “Here is the wide area where any number
of dangerous objects could penetrate."
"You can clearly see how this could be compromised," Lasko
continued. "One way of exploiting this might be to slip a
tiny microphone into Rice's mouth. It would be disastrous to have
our National Security Advisor’s every word recorded by terrorists."
Others have suggested similar scenarios in which a microphone
as well as studio recording and editing equipment could be placed
into Rice's mouth through her front teeth. This could result in
a puppet version of our current Security Advisor, who would say
anything her controlling infiltrators commanded.
This evidence confirms earlier testimony by former antiterrorism
chief Richard Clarke. He testified that he wrote several memos
expressing concern the gap could be compromised, but they were
ignored because the Bush administration was more concerned about
Dr. Rice's hair.
Some members of the United Nations also viewed this as a double
standard in the United State's war against weapons of mass destruction.
One UN representative noted, "For years camels have expelled
potentially dangerous fluids through gaps in their front teeth.
Why should the United States encourage this?" Rice has stated
that she will not use her gap as a means of deploying weapons of
Because of this evidence, Democrats have speculated that while
Rice claims to be from Alabama she may in fact be British which
may explain the close ties with Tony Blair.
The administration insisted Rice was from Alabama and brought
Alabama resident Rita Fickleberry to the Rose Garden for a press
conference. Fickleberry explained, "I be from Alabama all
my life an’ my teef's bad too. I'm just sayin'."
Some security experts claim there are less subtle ways of exploiting
this. An unofficial study done by several cooperating private security
companies has concluded that suicide bombers could drive trucks
filled with explosives through the gap in Rice's incisors.
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