Satire for Smart People
  About BBlog BBloopers BBoard BBspot's Book of Geek BBshop Archives
Features
The BBspot BBook
The BBook of Geek
In stores this fall. Preorder it today at Amazon

BBlog

Roku is Magic Daily Links - 10/15/08 Daily Links - 10/14/08
BBloopers
Reaching Goals
First Responders
Doctor Drunk
Top 11
Top 11 Lies Geeks Tell Their Parents
PC Weenies
Need a Hug
Windows Ubuntu
Three Rules of Bogus Buy
Geek Horoscopes
Random Geek Horoscopes
Classics
How White and Nerdy Are You?
Bush Proposes Faith- Based Firewalls for Government Computers
Microsoft Purchases Evil From Satan
Slashdot Story Generator
Which OS Are You?
Teen Using MySpace to Lure Bands to Los Angeles
Games
Game:Pirate Race
Shrunken Heads
Funny Bubbles
RSS
BBlog XML/RSS feed
Add to Google
Add to My Yahoo!
Save This Page
Follow on Twitter
Recommended
Fark
Broken Newz
The Toque
Worth 1000
PC Weenies
Mental Floss
Smashing Games
Free Codecs
SlushFactory
Geek Press
I-Mockery
FreeWorldGroup
Geek of the Day
Um... Things
Jokes Gallery
Yo! Free Games
Funny Pictures
More Links

Monday, October 25 12:00 AM ET

New Hampshire Residents Choose to Die

By Josh Ain

Concord, NH - Reacting to increased legislative encroachment on civil liberties, the residents of New Hampshire remained true to the motto printed on their license plate "Live free or die" and expired as a group at 9:42pm yesterday.

DeadThe residents fell lifelessly to the ground in perfect synchrony, making a strong statement against the slow erosion of individual rights. This large-scale mortality marks the largest act of arbitrary natural death in the history of the United States.

"We judged the Federal Government had finally gone too far," New Hampshire Governor Craig Benson might have said if he were still alive. "We in New Hampshire knew that being free is sometimes more important than life itself. We hope our exodus from the ranks of the living will be a clarion call to the world that we would have preferred to live free."

"Some might say we took an old slogan too literally by signaling our civil protest in such an extreme manner," Benson also did not say, since he was dead. "But we're just doing what we said we'd do. We were not about to let the Federal Government make liars out of us."

The members of the state Supreme Court had ruled the state 'not free' just moments before expiring Tuesday evening. The court cited several encroachments on the freedom of state members, including the DMCA, the Patriot Act, wage slavery, and bad traffic.

The business outlook for the New Hampshire region is largely bleak. High tech, education and tourism industries have been wiped out by the complete absence of local workers. In addition, any new residents who try to move in and squat in now vacant homes are parting from their mortal existence as soon as it becomes clear that they intend to stay. Business prospects have been looking up for Massachusetts border mortuaries and obituary writers, after an unexpected business boom.

Related News

Iraq Liberated from Oppressive Statue Regime

RIAA Cracks Down After Taliban Ousted

France Demands Return of the Statue of Liberty

The recently deceased residents of New Hampshire, while regretting having died, might be largely in support of their arbitrary death.

"No, I don't regret anything," Fred Birches, a Tilton area farmer probably would say if he were magically revived from the dead. "Sometimes you just have to let your life end based on the abstract concept of freedom and some poorly thought out laws. We took great pride while we were living, in our state motto, and we're glad to have lived up to it."

More News

Recommend this Story to a Friend
Previous Story:

Shrunken Heads
Next Story:

Trailer Review: The Machinist


  Politics Contact FAQs
A
D

Yahootemplates Web Templates - Goverment Grants - bingo - PDF to Doc Converter - Panic Attack - Internet Eraser Software - DirectoryDump Web Directory
Private Krankenversicherung - Recover Deleted Files
Vending Machines - Mortage Rate Deals

Copyright 1999-2008 by BBspot LLC
BBspot is a tech satire news and geek humor source, and meant to be funny.
If you are easily offended, gullible, or don't have a sense of humor, we suggest you go elsewhere. Those without the geek gene activated should also avoid this site.