Geek Horoscopes

Jan 20 - Feb 18
As it turns out, overclocking the office coffeemaker doesn't make you more productive, but your co-workers have become increasingly annoying.

Feb 19 - Mar 20
The pathetic state of your life becomes crystal clear this week when you realize you have more motherboards than friends.

Mar 21 - Apr 19
Your well-rehearsed diatribe on the advantages of Linux over Windows and the monopolistic practices of Microsoft is a sight to behold, however, your mom just wanted to know how to check her e-mail.

Apr 20 - May 20
You left the rules for "Fight Club" in the copier again, and now Stuart, the mailroom guy with the lazy eye and clubfoot wants to join.

May 21 - June 21
You will get a chance this week to sacrifice your self-respect and dignity for a larger cubicle. The choice will be much more difficult than you had anticipated.

June 22 - July 22
If cleanliness is next to godliness then your desk must be an atheist.

July 23 - Aug 22
An unfortunate backhoe accident that cuts both your cable and telephone connections leads you to discover a beautiful and enchanting world that others call "outside."

Aug 23 - Sep 22
The stars don't care how close that spider was to your overclocked Athlon. It's not going to bite you and give you super-spider powers.

Sep 23 - Oct 23
Maybe debugging perl code wasn't the best career choice with your severe dyslexia and your curly-braces phobia.

Oct 24 - Nov 21
The switch to Linux was a lot less painful than you expected. The surprise beating you received from Microsoft's Persuasion Squad evened things out.

Nov 22 - Dec 21
Your boss doesn't buy the excuse that the router lights hypnotized you, and you still have to get the code done on time. The router laughs.

Dec 22 - Jan 19
You're so far down on Santa's naughty list, that instead of coal, he's leaving a copy of Novell Netware in your stocking.

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