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Monday, April 26 12:00 AM EDT

Keebler Launches Linux on a Cheez-It

By Jason Simpson

Hoboken, NJ - Doctor Mark W. Fyords, PhD, head of research and development at Keebler, announced that his team has finally succeeded in porting the 2.4 Linux kernel to run on a Cheez-It.

Snackware"We are constantly receiving new suggestions, and we get email from creative homemakers who are always pushing the envelope. This cracker is on the cutting edge," Fyords said. It is this motivation and community spirit that has driven the snack biscuit to success.

Keebler will also be introducing their own Linux distribution. The distribution will be called Snackware, and will ship with several unique packages and applications. Snackware includes Krackers, a KDE application for storing or "racking" items on the desktop. (This was originally titled The Pantry Project.)

According to Fyords, the Cheez-It running Snackware benchmarks at 975 Cheese MIPS when stored in a dark and dry compartment.

Homemakers everywhere are excited about the treat's new potential. At a local Tupperware User's Group in Atlantic City, Barbara Jenkins said, "I have always enjoyed reading the suggestions on the back of other boxes. But Cheez-Its always paled in comparison to other snacks." In fact, the Cheez-It box until now altogether lacked any creative serving suggestions. Jenkins continued, "With the Triscuits, I can cover them in salami or microwave them with cheese. Until now there was almost nothing I could do with my Cheez-Its." Now Jenkins says she looks forward to running high-powered server applications on her Cheez-Its to serve as the web tier in her "kitchen infrastructure."

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Keebler recommends that for the database tier, administrators use Keebler's Saltines running FreeMSG.

Nabisco spokesperson Lana Tuffet, speaking for the Wheat Thins division of Nabisco, said she is not concerned about the announcement and that Wheat Thins does not intend to compete in this market. "We think this is more of a market for chip manufacturers," Tuffet said.

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