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"Big breasted women who hate bras, but love trampolines. Tonight
on Action News."
"There is a man behind you with a gun. Don't look! He'll
shoot if you turn around, but he'll leave quietly if you stay
up and watch Eyewitness News following ER.
"The food your children are eating at a local
strip club, could be killing them. We take a look inside."
"I'm sleeping with several local teens. Find
out if your child is one of them at 11."
"Lose weight, make money, feed the homeless while
watching TV. We'll show you how on News Now at 10."
"A story so shocking that everyone will be talking
about it tomorrow. You don't want to be the loser who doesn't
watch. Do you?"
"Elephants having sex in front of fourth graders. FOURTH
GRADERS. Film at 11."
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