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Wednesday, April 21 12:00 PM EDT

Ways to Make Big Brother More Interesting

10. Limit available food to beans and cabbage.  See if George explodes.
9. Add a pack of rabid Rottweilers to the cast.
8. Pay more attention to the plants growing in the garden, less to the people.
7. Change vote from "Who gets kicked out of the house?" to "Who gets beaten with baseball bats by the other house members?"
6. Get Julie Chen a personality transplant.
5. Slip Ecstasy into the water supply.
4. Put one of those giant time bombs with the red digital countdown displays on it in the house.  See if they can pick the right wire to cut.
3. Rerun episodes of "The Nanny" instead.
2. Secretly replace water in pool with sulfuric acid, watch the fun begin.
1. ANYTHING, ANYTHING, PLEASE DEAR GOD, ANYTHING!!!


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