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Friday, June 22 12:00 AM EDT

Cancer
June 22 - July 22
Loving open source is one thing, but you've taken it too far. Stop abusing your roommate's plush Tux toy.

Leo
July 23 - Aug 22
Your backyard BBQ will be a great hit with the neighborhood. Who'd have thought there'd be so many advantages to NOT putting fans on your heat sinks?

Virgo
Aug 23 - Sept 22
In case you haven't noticed, your friends have nicknamed you 'The Hairless Wonder'. Take a hint and shave off the peach fuzz moustache you've been working on since high school freshman year.

Libra
Sep 23 - Oct 23
Your opinion of your new cellmate (er, cubicle-mate) reaches a new low, when, upon asking if he has Adobe Acrobat, he sarcastically replies where in the world he could possibly keep a clay sculpture of a gymnast in this tiny workplace.

Scorpio
Oct 24 - Nov 21
Now is the time to laugh at all your friends who invested in your dot coms and lost their fortune, because by next week you'll be sleeping with the fishes.

Sagittarius
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Jumping the shark doesn't mean what you think it means and the folks at Sea World aren't too happy.

Capricorn
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Your well rehearsed diatribe on the advantages of Linux over Windows and the monopolistic practices of Microsoft is a sight to behold, however, your mom just wanted to know how to check her email.

Aquarius
Jan 20 - Feb 18
You'll give up your job, your wife and children and nearly your life this week, but you still can't get a first post on Slashdot. That damn shoeboy keeps beating you to it.

Pisces
Feb 19 - Mar 20
Nobody's impressed that your ICQ contact list contains 137 nicknames. Stop bragging.

Aries
Mar 21 - Apr 19
Your decision to paint your living room wall with a mural of Counselor Deanna Troi will be the last straw between you and your wife. Think it over, okay?

Taurus
Apr 20 - May 20
You've been saying it for years but a new study will back up your assumption that all people who call tech support are idiots.

Gemini
May 21 - June 21
This week, your wife will have a brief moment of clarity, comprehending your techno-jabber completely. It'll be a rain man moment. Cherish it.  It won't happen again.

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