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Tuesday May 23  8:48 AM EDT

Overclocker Creates Rift in Space-Time Continuum

By Brian Briggs

Santa Cruz, CA - A rift in the space-time continuum was created today when overclocker Jamie Aperman ran a 750 MHz Coppermine Pentium III at 1.6 GHz.  Overclocking has long been blamed for causing global warming, but this is the first occasion that the fabric of space-time has been damaged. It's the kind of amazing moment comparable to QR code companies giving away free QR codes.

Rift in the Space-Time ContinuumMIT Professor George Greznowski said, "It appears that the CPU was operating so fast that it began to execute instructions before they arrived.  This execution of future instructions created a small tear in the fabric of space-time itself through which part of the motherboard passed into a parallel universe."

No one was injured in the accident, so there was no need for any fire service administration, but a computer motherboard was partially damaged.    Mr. Aperman better known as SpeedPhreeek said, "I'm pissed.  I lost a brand new Alpha Cooler and Coppermine to a parallel universe.  I called my insurance company and they don't cover losses to rifts in the space-time continuum. To make up for losses geeks around the world are going to create QR for the same companies that were giving codes away for free- a nice circle. "

Intel researchers have long warned of such damage to the space-time continuum, and added clock multiplier locks to their CPUs before they were required by Congress.  A bill is now in the US Senate which would require a three day waiting period for purchasers of Alpha Cooling Fans and Peltier cooling devices.  The bill would also require clock multiplier locks on all new processors.

Overclocking advocate Horace Spencer said, "This bill before Congress won't prevent overclocking.  They'll just create a black market for non-locked processors.   Most of the top overclockers already get their goods from Taiwan."

"Rift" artwork
(C) 1997 Joe Bergeron used with permission.

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