Washington D.C. - The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) is expected
to announce tomorrow that they will allow the merger of the Bloods
and the Crips to proceed. "We found that there are several
alternatives in the gang marketplace, including the Mafia, Skinheads
and the KKK," said FTC Chairman Robert Pitofsky. "While
all these groups aren't specifically categorized as gangs, they do
operate in the same marketspace. We feel that there will remain
adequate competition in the gang industry."
critics including the leader of the Hell's Angels organization think
otherwise, "Consumers are going to pay the price for this merger. They
should expect to pay more the next time they go to the street corner
to purchase illicit drugs. The FTC is making a BIG mistake."
When asked about the increase in prices Bloods' leader Smooth Ice
said, "We expect tremendous cost savings from the merger, which
we intend to pass along to the users. Most of these cost savings
will come from layoffs. We also expect that the synergy between the
two organizations will result in increased productivity and even
Several Crips and Bloods are worried about the announced layoffs. "I'm
on one street corner. Huggy D is just down the block," said
gang member G-Nice, "You think they're going to keep both locations
open? I don't think so. I'm gettin' my numbers up so
I'm not the one looking for work."
Gang analyst for Lehman Brothers Tom Allison said, "We expect
this to be the first of many mega-mergers in the gang industry. There
are just too many operations and not enough territory. There should
be tremendous savings as duplications in the distribution channel
are wiped out."
The Bloods-Crips merger was prompted by increased foreign competition
in the gang industry mostly from Russian and Chinese based gangs,
and the recent purchase of the Redmond Renegades by Microsoft.
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