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Delhi, India - Researchers at IBM have announced today that they
have found the source of all technology news - Gladritek, the magical
news elf. This finding completes three years of research and
with this last piece of information the researchers have released
a map of the path news travels before it reaches the public. A
condensed version of the chart is pictured below.
 Researchers began their
study after countless web users complained about the similarities
in all their technology news sources. First, the researchers
traced the news linking sites, (Ars, Slashdot) which are the public's primary sources
of news, back to the news producing sites (Cnet, ZDnet). From there it was a
tough jump, but finally the wall broke down and they linked the news
producing sites to the corporate PR departments (Microsoft, Intel, nVidia).
"It was a very difficult study because of all the cross-linking
we found. Mostly we just ending up going in circles," said IBM
researcher Jennifer Gable, "but when we mapped it out however
we saw a pattern emerging. We thought the corporate PR departments
were the ultimate source, but one day quite by accident we stumbled
upon a link unlike any other we had found before. It took us
GladriteksNewsSource.com and it was like finding the rosetta stone." 
Gladritek, the magical news elf, has been producing technology
news since the turn of last century from the first automobiles to
the first Pentiums and disseminating this news through corporate
PR departments. "My life became a lot easier with the advent
of the web. All I had to do was set up a site for the marketing
people to gather their press releases. It's hard work, but
it's rewarding," said Gladritek.
"It's a relief for me," said tech news junkie, Tom Rogers, "I
thought it was a big conspiracy by the giant corporations to control
the kind of information I saw. I'm glad it's just because
a magical news elf writes all the news."
Gladritek contributed to this story.
Elf Image (C) Copyright 2000 Warp Graphics,
Inc.
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