BBspot


Archives
 
Top 11
Top 11 Things Geeks Would Do After Being Rescued from a Mine
Classics
How White and Nerdy Are You?
Bush Proposes Faith- Based Firewalls for Government Computers
Microsoft Purchases Evil From Satan
Slashdot Story Generator
Which OS Are You?
Teen Using MySpace to Lure Bands to Los Angeles
The BBook of Geek
Recommended
Fark
Mental Floss
Geek Press
Wil Wheaton
Jonathan Coulton
I-Mockery
Jokes Gallery
Funny Pictures
More Links

Thursday  August 3  11:08 PM EDT

New Video Card Lets Users
See Through Clothes

By Brian Briggs

Montreal - Matrox announced today the Mach Smack G500 video card.  Their next generation card which competes with NVIDIA's GeForce 2 and ATI's Radeon. 

The Mach Smack card has a feature that is sure to make it a best seller.  Utilizing proprietary interpolative texture mapping, the card is able to display clothed images of people as if the clothes had been removed.  Matrox claims this is the first card that will allow users to see through clothes, and has dubbed the feature BodyMAP.

"The GPU on this card is not just an improvement on the G450, but was completely redesigned from the ground up.  We think that g500both hardcore gamers and perverts alike will love this card," said Matrox VP of Technical Marketing Todd Sands, "This card is going to shake up the whole industry.  Not only are the other video card manufacturers fearful but the celebrity nude sites are in trouble too.   No need to pay for them when you can just find any digital picture and see it in the raw."

Initial reviews are positive noting that the FPS rate in Quake 3: Arena is comparable to the ATI Radeon card.  Kyle Bennett of HardOCP said, "In Quake this card shakes its booty.  Where it really rocks is with the BodyMAP feature.  I was at the Britney Spears site for over six hours. One disappointment was that looseBritney fitting clothes caused some minor problems, particularly blurring of key areas." A Matrox representative claims that the loose clothing problem is a driver issue and should be resolved with the next update of the drivers.

Casual users are also giving positive feedback, "I feel like Superman with this thing", said teenager Trevor Bilbanks. "I haven't left my computer for days.   This is beyond my wildest dreams.  I'm really glad Matrox made BodyMAP a user configurable feature, because once I ended up at CNN.com and saw more of Janet Reno than I really ever cared to."

Industry analysts think this should vault Matrox to the top of the heap in the ultra-competitive video card marketplace.  A few phone calls around town showed that stores had trouble keeping the cards on the shelves.  Store managers also noted that 90% of the buyers also purchased a digital camera at the same time.

More Tech News

Recommend this Story to a Friend

 
 
Follow on Twitter Follow Us on Twitter
Facebook Fan Us on Facebook
Amazon Find the BBook

 

  Politics Contact FAQs
A
D

Copyright 1999-2023 by BBspot LLC
BBspot is a tech satire news and geek humor source, and meant to be funny.
If you are easily offended, gullible, or don't have a sense of humor, we suggest you go elsewhere. Those without the geek gene activated should also avoid this site.