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Boulder, CO - Self proclaimed Perl God Merrill Wallman says he is
unimpressed by God's feat of creating the universe in seven days. "That's
nothing I once coded a custom Apache module over a weekend, but I
didn't rest on Sunday like that slacker, God. I haven't had
seven days to complete a project in years, and God got one day of
rest? What a lazy ass. He didn't even have to give status
reports."
 Wallman also
noted that "God obviously didn't debug, hasn't done any maintenance,
and no documentation can be found. Truly amateur work."
Other Perl deities like Chris Kosman were also unimpressed, "I've
seen nothing of God's work that compares to the Schwartzian Transform.
And the simplicity of the Fisher-Yates shuffle is unequalled. God
could have saved a day or two if he'd just used some simple OOP and
recursive functions. I mean, who really writes procedural-oriented
stuff these days anyhow?"
Kosman continued, "And 'Hey, God!?' there's a MODULE for assembling
nucleic proteins and amino acids. Try 'Use Biology::DNA'. These
amateurs always try to re-invent the wheel. And that platypus...
could only be the result of unorganized spaghetti code. Next
time try running your code with '-w' and 'use strict'. Then
that sort of stuff won't happen. I could go on for days."
God was not available for comment but did release this statement
through a spokesperson:
I'm not sure who those Perl 'bozos' are but they better watch
it. It was my first project and I think I did pretty well
given my experience. And yes, I turned on 'taint mode',
when I created woman from that rib. Will you people ever
give it up?
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