RALF: Hi Steve, I understand that there will be a lot of new
Apple models coming out with the release of OS
X. Please tell us about them.
STEVE: Ok. First off, all of the new iMacs will come
with new foil flower patterns implanted into the plastic case. Some
of the higher end models will also have little fairies, elves, and
a dragon or two.
RALF: Um, well, ok,
Tell us about the new OS X operating system.
STEVE: OS X will probably ship in a blue box with a red X
on the cover. We are considering putting one of those
cool security holograms on the package, or maybe even print it on
the CD its self.
RALF: Will there be any new features in OS X that the public
has not been told about?
STEVE: Yes, the new DDT. DDT stands for Dynamic Desktop
Themes. DDT will let you not just put still pictures on your
desktop, but you can put swirling hypnotic patterns, dancing flowers,
or all sorts of other cool animated psychedelic clips on the desktop
RALF: That's.... well, aahh.... great. Speaking about
graphics and animation, tell us about the new Nvidia GeForce 3 cards
that will be used in the new Mac models.
STEVE: The GeForce 3 cards will come in pink for girls, and blue
for boys. Unfortunately, we were not able to print any cool
psychedelic patterns on the board itself, but since no one should
ever open up there computer, I don't think it will hurt anyone that
bad. (ed: Since the iMacs are semi transparent, people might
be able to see the cards, but because Ralf realized that he was talking
to a raving lunatic, he did not bring up the point.)
RALF: Can you tell us about the revolutionary new G3 processor
that is being used in the new Macs?
STEVE: Our marketing group has told us that they are not that
interesting. They are a dull metallic gray, and sort of square-like.
RALF: One note of controversy, I hear that a number of people
are complaining that the new DDT interface uses 98.32% of all system
resources including processor time, leaving the new computers almost
STEVE: That is true. However, our marketing department
has told us that people don't want to use their computers. They
just want them to look pretty. One more thing, I would like
to invite every one to the public release party for the new models. We
will be setting up a giant Easy-Bake(TM) Oven in Golden Gate park,
so people can make their own iMac cases. We will also be making
lots of "Herbal Brownies."
RALF: Thank you very much Steve for a very... uh... interesting
STEVE: You are quite welcome.
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