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Redmond, WA - The recent earthquake in Seattle caused massive damage
and according to Windows OS chief Jim Allchin it is a direct result
of the Open Source movement.
"This earthquake demonstrates the destabilizing force that
Linux and the Open Source software movement has on the earth. If
people continue to support this type of software then natural disasters
such as this earthquake will continue to occur," said Allchin.
 Allchin
went on to say that it is a fact that no Microsoft product had ever
caused an earthquake, hurricane or volcanic eruption, but he can't
be certain about Open Source projects. "We make earth shaking
products, but in the figurative sense not the literal.
"That's not all," continued Allchin, "Microsoft historians
also have proof that Open Source projects, particularly Linux, are
responsible for the fall of the Roman Empire, the Black Plague, and
the rise of disco during the 1970s. Of course, that's all proprietary
information."
Open Source advocates were outraged by the Microsoft executive's
comments. "Allchin has it all wrong," said a top level
RedHat executive, "The proximity of the earthquake to Redmond
demonstrates that God is angry with Microsoft about its innovation
stifling practices. Do you think it's some sort of coincidence that
it is so rainy in Seattle?"
A Microsoft spokesperson vehemently denied that God is somehow punishing
them by causing the earthquake, and also stated that underground
nuclear explosions do not cause earthquakes, not that Microsoft does
that sort of thing.
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