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Portland, OR - Members of PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment
of Animals) and PETV (People for the Ethical Treatment of Vegetables)
clashed today. Protests started  peacefully with members of PETA throwing
fake animal blood made from maple syrup and carrot juice at the PETV
protesters while the PETV protesters were throwing fake maple syrup
and carrot juice made from blood at the PETA people.
Later the PETA and PETV members started throwing
rocks at each other. At this point members of PETM (People
for the Ethical Treatment of Minerals) entered the fight but they
were quickly overwhelmed because they were throwing ham sandwiches
with mustard and tomatoes.
After the wounded and dead were taken off of the
battlefield, members of PETV called a peace conference to address
their differences. "We invited the PETA people to our
headquarters for vegetarian chili and a movie."
When asked how the two groups got along the PETV
members said that they liked the PETA members, "They were
very tender hearted. Very tender. The movie 'Silence of the
Lambs' was also quite good. "
No members of PETA were available for comment.
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