Sunday, May 13 12:01 AM EST

Protesters Clash in Portland

By Ralf the Dog

Portland, OR - Members of PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) and PETV (People for the Ethical Treatment of Vegetables) clashed today.  Protests started Butcherpeacefully with members of PETA throwing fake animal blood made from maple syrup and carrot juice at the PETV protesters while the PETV protesters were throwing fake maple syrup and carrot juice made from blood at the PETA people.

Later the PETA and PETV members started throwing rocks at each other.  At this point members of PETM (People for the Ethical Treatment of Minerals) entered the fight but they were quickly overwhelmed because they were throwing ham sandwiches with mustard and tomatoes.

After the wounded and dead were taken off of the battlefield, members of PETV called a peace conference to address their differences.  "We invited the PETA people to our headquarters for vegetarian chili and a movie." 

When asked how the two groups got along the PETV members said that they liked the PETA members, "They were very tender hearted. Very tender.  The movie 'Silence of the Lambs' was also quite good. "

No members of PETA were available for comment.

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