New York - Released today Microsoft is promoting it's Window's XP
operating system as an alternative to anthrax and war coverage to
"Americans are tired of hearing about the latest case of inhalation
anthrax or about the progress of our military campaign in Afghanistan.
Frightened Americans are longing to hear about the security and stability
that Windows XP offers. It gives them a comfort level that anthrax
just can't offer," said Bill Gates. "This is the most important
software release we have made since the last one and media saturation
event in New York City will feature a free performance by Sting and
an appearance by New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani. Microsoft will
donate the proceeds from the free performance to the Red Cross relief
A CNN spokesperson said the XP launch will not be covered by the
network. "We are a serious news station and our country is in
a time of crisis. It would be irresponsible of us to pander to the
Microsoft PR department. Instead we'll be running our AOL: The
Greatest or the Bestest? documentary."
"MSNBC agrees with Mr. Gates and is broadcasting in-depth coverage
of the product launch, including opinions from people on the street
in Kandahar and Kabul about the new operating system.
I haven't watched the news for years so I don't really care what
they do," said Dennis Adkins of Syracuse New York, "As
long as it doesn't interfere with Frasier I'm all right with it."
Tom Brokaw of NBC News said, "Today is a great day for users
and for the PC industry. With the launch of Windows XP, we are entering
an exciting new era of personal computing. I have been assimilated."
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