Washington, DC - Senate majority leader Tom Daschle called today
for a 5 day waiting period for box cutters, nail clippers, and tweezers,
saying that it was time to "get serious about our fight against
A spokesman for Daschle said, "All the measures enacted in
the wake of the September 11th tragedy have been well intentioned,
but none of them would really have made a difference, had they been
in place before [the hijackings on September 11th].
we are grateful for the unconstitutional power granted to the federal
government by the USA PATRIOT Act, Senator Daschle feels that secret
military courts, roving wire taps, and warrantless searches will
simply not protect Americans from any future terrorist acts."
The proposal, if enacted into law, would require anyone wishing
to purchase one of the potential weapons to register in a federal
database, and submit to a background check. The 5 day waiting period
would give merchants time to alert authorities, if a suspicious person
attempted to make a purchase. Daschle's office declined to define
what would constitute "suspicious", but an anonymous source
within Daschle's office told The Times this morning, "Well,
we'd be very suspicious of anyone who didn't clearly work at a grocery
store, or packing facility, for example. What does a law abiding
citizen want with a box cutter, any way?" When questioned about
the nail care implements, the source said, "The only person
who should be buying anything related to nail care would be a professional
manicurist, or full-time housewife. I'd say that any man buying a
nail file would draw some very serious scrutiny. Especially if that
man were, say, of Arab descent."
Senator Dianne Feinstein, who supports the proposal, is also expected
to ask for additional provisions in the law, which would allow an
individual to only purchase one box cutter a month, and only 6 nail
files per year.
"A responsible American should only need to replace their nail
files, at most, three times a year," Feinstein said. "And
if they were to, say, lose their files, they could always have their
nails professionally done by a member of the Manicurists Union of
The Foundation for Taxpayer and Consumer Freedom criticized Feinstein's
announcement, noting that the MUA recently donated heavily to Feinstein's
Feinstein denied any impropriety.
The NRA immediately blasted the proposed legislation. NRA President
Charlton Heston declared, "Box cutters don't hijack planes.
People who take advantage of lax airport security do. This is just
another cynical power grab by the Washington elite. The second amendment
clearly states that the right of the people to keep and bear arms,
box cutters, nail clippers and tweezers shall not be infringed."
The White House also criticized Daschle. "Far from being effective,
this proposal simply doesn't go far enough. We live in a free and
open society. That's what makes America unique. If we are to protect
this freedom and openness, we need to see legislation that will stop
people from just moving about our country whenever they feel like
it," Ari Flescher said. "And to secure those freedoms,
the president will be working with Congress to draft legislation
requiring all citizens to register with the Office of Homeland Security.
We will also invite our Arab-American friends, and those who harbor
them, to move into specially designed neighborhoods, where they will
be safer from terrorism. That is the president's personal commitment
to a workable, final solution."
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