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Redmond, WA - Bill Gates announced today that as part of the "Trustworthy
Computing Initiative" that Whippy the Giant Invisible Pink Bunny
would become the company's security Czar. A move viewed essential
if Microsoft expects to build confidence in its .NET strategy.
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"Only I can see
him."
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Security experts lauded Microsoft's move. "I'm heartened by
Microsoft's new focus on more secure software. And the appointment
of an invisible pink bunny, nay, a GIANT invisible pink bunny, as
security czar is a great move. It really affirms Microsoft's commitment
to security," said Julio Townsel of FRX Security Consultants.
Gates motioned to a large empty space and said, "Whippy is
very excited about being Security Czar. It's been his dream since
he was just a tiny little giant invisible pink bunny." Gates
turned around and requested, "Come over here and say a few words."
Gates beckoned the empty space to come to the podium. "Oh,
Whippy, I know you've got lots of work to do, but please stay and
answer a few questions. I admire your enthusiasm and your commitment
to security."
An uncomfortable press corps questioned the giant invisible pink
bunny for several minutes before a smiling Gates returned to the
microphone. "Isn't he cute! Thank you all for coming today.
Whippy will be available any time you would like to speak with him."
Some Microsoft employees later said they doubted the existence of
Whippy, however, just in case they'd be making sure that their code
was secure. "I'm not sure what a giant invisible pink bunny
could do to me, but I don't think I want to find out," said
one programmer.
Gates also announced that Ted the Invisible Transvestite Warthog
would be Monopoly Czar, and would make sure Microsoft never abused
its monopoly power again.
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