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Sunday, April 23 12:01 AM EST

Before They Were...

By Brian Briggs

Famous movie characters weren't always Sith Lords, Mafia hitmen or morons. They were pizza delivery guys, garbage collectors and even tech support.

Darth Vader from the Star Wars Trilogy

Customer: I'm having trouble installing your application. It keeps giving me an error. I've tried rebooting, and reinstalling but it keeps saying the same thing.
Darth Vader: Windows for Dummies has taught you well. Rebooting and reinstalling is the first step to the dark side. What operating system are you using?
Customer: Windows 98.
Darth Vader: Then your transition to the dark side of the force is complete. Unleash your anger and reboot and reinstall again. Do not fail me this time.
Customer: But sir, I've already done that three ti...AAack *gurgle*
Darth Vader: The Emperor will be very pleased with my solution rate.

Tommy DeVito from Goodfellas

Customer: When I put a CD in the CD-ROM drive it makes a funny sound.
Tommy DeVito: How is it funny? Funny like a clown? Does it amuse you?
Customer: No, it's like a click-clank sound.
Tommy DeVito: How the fuck is that funny?
Customer: Sorry, I meant funny as in strange, not amusing.
Tommy DeVito: What am I fucking here to amuse you? This is fucking tech support asshole, not the Bozo the fucking clown joke line.

Forrest Gump from Forrest Gump

Forrest Gump: Hello, this is Forrest, Forrest Gump. How can I help you?
Customer: I bought a system from you guys a week ago and I'm having a problem with it.
Forrest Gump: My manager says you can tell a lot about a person by the brand of computer they buy. You say you've got a Compaq Presario?
Customer: Yeah, how did you know? Well, anyway it was supposed to have a 40 GB hard drive but it's only got a 30 in it.
Forrest Gump: My manager always says our computers are like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get.

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