|
Reviewinator |
| Starring |
Ben
Affleck
Samuel
L. Jackson
|
| Geek |
Dylan
Baker |
| Official Site |
Link |
| Rated |
R |
| Genre |
Thriller |
| Dead Bodies |
0 |
| Car Crashes |
2 (accidents really) |
| Weapons |
Computer, Paper Shredder,
Samuel L. Jackson's Voice |
| Voice Over |
Yes |
| "In a world where..." |
No |
| Spoilage Factor |
70% |
| Geek Factor |
15% |
| See Trailer? |
Yes |
| See Movie? |
Maybe |
Have you ever fantasized about Ben Affleck? No? OK, how about fantasizing
about him dying in a bone-ripping car crash? Yeah, me too. Unfortunately
like Britney Spears this trailer only teases us with the fantasy
and fails to deliver the goods.
Ben Affleck, as the voice over explains, is "an ambitious attorney." Samuel
L. Jackson is "a desperate father." Ben has the easy task
of delivering some legal briefs to court. Sam has just been approved
for a loan on a house which he hopes will win back his wife.
"They have no reason to meet" - except for the plot, apparently.
They collide on the freeway and despite Sam's pleadings, weasel-lawyer
man Ben leaves bad-ass Mace Windu stranded. Obviously Affleck hasn't
seen Pulp Fiction, because Sam is the last guy you want to piss off.
Pretty boy arrives at court, but without the important file which
we see Sam picking up off the highway. Sam arrives late to court
and is chided by the judge, his dreams of reuniting with his wife
seem unlikely. Affleck needs to get the file back. Jackson wants
his time back. The revenge starts.
 |
|
Hit him!
|
Affleck gets in touch with the Evil Hacker (Dylan Baker) for his
part of the revenge. The Credit Bureau must use IIS because it only
takes a few keystrokes for the Evil Hacker to make Jackson bankrupt.
Wrong move, because Affleck starts getting his important file back
in pieces. The battle of revenge spirals out of control, as does
Affleck when Sam loosens his lugnuts. Oh, I'm sorry -- did I break
your concentration?
Then comes the shocker that makes The Crying Game seem
as predictable as Pearl Harbor (the movie that is), the
voice over reveals that Ben Affleck is an Academy Award winner while
Samuel L. Jackson has only been a nominee. I felt woozy. The earth
shifted beneath my feet. Was the world really this apeshit insane?
Fortunately for us, it's only the Academy that's bonkers.
Conclusion on trailer: Jackson's performance is excellent,
and a surprise cameo by William Hurt makes this a trailer worth the
download. I give it 7 spots.
Conclusion on movie: With both characters being very unsympathetic,
the only desirable conclusion would be for both of them to drive
off the Brooklyn bridge. I can't imagine that would happen in a Hollywood
film, so I'm predicting an average thriller saved only by Samuel
L. Jackson's performance - 6 spots out of 10.
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