Hollywood, CA - Copies of Spider-Man 2 have been discovered circulating
in IRC and on pirate sites. Experts say this is the first time a
movie has been pirated before it has even been filmed.
Movie pirates infiltrated Raimi's home while he slept. They used
an advanced EEG imaging system along with Apple's new QuickTime 6.0
beta with Brain2Vid technology to capture the movie. Pirates then
edited out the unnecessary portions of what they captured such as
images of Raimi's mother yelling at him because he forgot to take
out the garbage.
Director Sam Raimi has confirmed that this is indeed the movie he
is about to film. "I knew I shouldn't think about what I'm going
to film. Now it's loose on the Internet. I doubt the sequel will
be able to break the $500,000 mark in 2 weeks now. I'm just really
glad I didn't have that goat dream."
"This is outrageous," said MPAA president Jack Valenti, "These
criminals by releasing the film before it has been released are not
only stealing revenue from the producers but also ruining the movie
goers magical experience. If the pirates do this to enough movies
then the summer blockbuster season will seem like a cavalcade of
unoriginal dreck which I admit isn't much of a change but still!"
Initial reviews of the film have been extremely positive. "Usually
sequels don't live up to the first film unless you count Aliens,
Terminator 2, The Empire Strikes Back and a few others, but this
one really exceeds the expectations created by the first," exclaimed
Jolly Roger in IRC.
According to one Internet research firm says the film was downloaded
over 700,000,000 times in less than 14 hours and will cost the studio
at least $5 trillion in lost revenue. "We stand by our numbers
even if they might see a tad exaggerated. We really need the press," a
spokesperson for the firm said.
Pirates have also tried to steal Episode III from George Lucas'
brain for several months, but keep coming away with a blank screen.
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