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Wednesday, May 29 12:01 AM EST

Copies of Spider-Man 2 Already on the Web

By Brian Briggs

Hollywood, CA - Copies of Spider-Man 2 have been discovered circulating in IRC and on pirate sites. Experts say this is the first time a movie has been pirated before it has even been filmed.

Movie pirates infiltrated Raimi's home while he slept. They used an advanced EEG imaging system along with Apple's new QuickTime 6.0 beta with Brain2Vid technology to capture the movie. Pirates then edited out the unnecessary portions of what they captured such as images of Raimi's mother yelling at him because he forgot to take out the garbage.

Director Sam Raimi has confirmed that this is indeed the movie he is about to film. "I knew I shouldn't think about what I'm going to film. Now it's loose on the Internet. I doubt the sequel will be able to break the $500,000 mark in 2 weeks now. I'm just really glad I didn't have that goat dream."

"This is outrageous," said MPAA president Jack Valenti, "These criminals by releasing the film before it has been released are not only stealing revenue from the producers but also ruining the movie goers magical experience. If the pirates do this to enough movies then the summer blockbuster season will seem like a cavalcade of unoriginal dreck which I admit isn't much of a change but still!"

Initial reviews of the film have been extremely positive. "Usually sequels don't live up to the first film unless you count Aliens, Terminator 2, The Empire Strikes Back and a few others, but this one really exceeds the expectations created by the first," exclaimed Jolly Roger in IRC.

According to one Internet research firm says the film was downloaded over 700,000,000 times in less than 14 hours and will cost the studio at least $5 trillion in lost revenue. "We stand by our numbers even if they might see a tad exaggerated. We really need the press," a spokesperson for the firm said.

Pirates have also tried to steal Episode III from George Lucas' brain for several months, but keep coming away with a blank screen.

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