June 22 - July 22
Low temp solder is a good conductor, but no matter what the guys on the HardOCP
discussion board tell you, it doesn't make a good heat sink.
July 23 - Aug 22
The LAN party was only supposed to last the weekend. It's now Friday again,
your mouth tastes like ether, and you still can't find your pants. Maybe you're
not ready for RedBull jello shots.
Aug 23 - Sep 22
Failure follows you everywhere. You will be unable to convince the company
tech that you need a DVD-RW for your position in billing.
Sep 23 - Oct 23
Be on the lookout for a huge check coming your way! Oh wait, it's a huge Czech.
Still, be on the lookout.
Oct 24 - Nov 21
We have moved! You are being redirected to the Capricorn horoscope. If you
are not redirected in 10 seconds, find it somewhere else on this page.
Nov 22 - Dec 21
I have two words for you: Plastic Surgery. That third ear is not gonna attract
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Your project has been canceled after 3 years in development. The budget simply
ran out. Apparently all those meetings in Milan were supposed to be conference
Jan 20 - Feb 18
You'll be kicked out of the Linux Discussion Group this week. The Linux mascot
is a penguin, not a seal. Get that into your head, you moron.
Feb 19 - Mar 20
The planets will finally align for you, and, at that moment, your boss will
do your bidding. Unfortunately, it only lasts 20 minutes, and you'll be stuck
in traffic at the time.
Mar 21 - Apr 19
The stars suggest you get rid of your Teletubby screensaver. It distracts them.
Apr 20 - May 20
You are disappointed to learn that the extra $300 dollars you spent on the
3-year warranty of your PC was voided when you didn't have a certified technician
take the twisty-ties off all the cables.
May 21 - June 21
You've been promoted to CFO, YAY! But it's only because the rest of the company
is in jail because of "Creative Accounting", BOO!