Antivirus experts have announced the appearance of a new virus called "BSB" which
has been described as "dangerous and hazardous." While
this virus does not damage files or hurt the Windows operating system
in any way, it may cause deep psychological trauma and emotional
scars. The virus itself is a simple variation of the common worm
virus, which replicates when executed, and is distributed through
e-mail attachments. The subject is simply "BSB" and the
attachment is a file called bsb.exe, and poses as a flash executable.
When the attachment is run, the virus writes a screensaver to the
disk with a random name and random location in the directory structure,
and overwrites a couple of DLLs, which block all access to the screen
properties window. This prevents the user from changing the screen
The danger of this virus is not in the overwriting of DLLs, but
in the screen saver itself. The screen saver, once activated, displays
a version of the Ballmer Monkey Boy video, digitally modified so
that Ballmer appears naked.
At first, experts thought that the virus' name, which is the acronym
for Back Street Boys, was used to lure young innocent teenage girls
into watching this horrible video, but now it is thought that the
name stands for "Birthday Suit Ballmer" or "Ballmer's
When questioned about the virus, one of the hundreds of victims
simply exclaimed "My eyes! MY EYES!!!" Further questioning
revealed nothing more.
Not everyone is displeased with this virus, though. Owners and managers
of large companies are very happy with the results. An anonymous
manager for a large company explained, "Most of our employees'
computers were infected with this virus. They are now afraid to leave
their desk, and keep moving the mouse over and over. The coffee breaks
have stopped, and they seldomly use the bathroom. Productivity has
definitely improved. Still, it's just awful to have seen that guy
prancing around naked. My retinas are still sore."
On the plus side, the virus DLLs that replace the original ones
fix 7 bugs in the Windows system.
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