Nov 22 - Dec 21
Even though you have lost your phone privileges at work, don't despair, the NSA
will still be able to track your brain waves.
Dec 22 - Jan 19
The stress of waiting for your Fellowship of the Rings: Extended Edition DVDs
to arrive will worsen, when you realize you don't have a DVD player or a TV.
Jan 20 - Feb 18
Those 3 new computers in your office don't mean you're gonna get more toys
to play with. It means they're gonna cram 3 more people into your cubicle with
Feb 19 - Mar 20
Don't sign up for Secret Santa at your office this year, because all you're
gonna get is an old pair of mittens and a can of spam.
Mar 21 - Apr 19
The stars didn't have time for your horoscopes this week. They have been spending
too much time play GTA: Vice City.
Apr 20 - May 20
Freezing temperatures outside can mean only one thing. Time to move your computer
outside so you can squeeze a few more clock cycles out of it.
May 21 - June 21
The mod that allows you to be a UN Weapons Inspector in Unreal Tournament will
be fun for a while, but you'll grow tired of getting blown up.
June 22 - July 22
The similarities found in human and mice genes will make you feel less self-conscious
about your tail.
July 23 - Aug 22
You'll realize how much of a geek you are when you calculate whether the mess
on your desk is growing at a rate consistent with Moore's Law.
Aug 23 - Sep 22
Either the stress of quitting your job is causing hallucinations or everyone
has turned into blue monkeys.
Sep 23 - Oct 23
The last time your outlook was this bad CNN had to create a new graphic.
Oct 24 - Nov 21
Don't be so upset that The Two Towers trailer revealed that Gandalf
didn't die in the first movie. Everyone either knew this before the trailer
came out, or forgot that Gandalf died anyway. It's time to move on.