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Tuesday,  February 11 12:01 AM EDT

Long-Term Healing Potion Use May
Cause Liver Damage for Adventurers

By Nikolaj Borg

For years, adventurers and other people working in hazardous occupations have relied on so-called healing potions to perform their jobs. Those days could very well be over, as experts are becoming wary of negative long-term effects of the popular potions.

Laboratory testing on humanoid creatures indicate that healing potions stress the liver in such a way that premature failure is inevitable. While only a fraction of the potions on the market have been tested, experts fear that all potions could be harmful.

The discovery poses several threats to the booming MMORPG economy. A ban on healing potions – as suggested by the experts – would drive the work force away from the highly profitable adventuring jobs. The remaining adventurers would need more time to recover from injuries, further reducing their productivity. Furthermore, a healing potion black market could lead to even more harmful potions. If the problem is not addressed, the communities will have to create health care systems from scratch to care for the population. No matter what, this is a huge step-back for the MMORPG economies that may even strengthen the vicious circle of today’s faltering global economy.

Danger - Healing Potions
“Today’s adventurers don’t really care about long-term effects” a representative of the potion industry explains. “If they did, they would have chosen a safer occupation in the first place."

As an intermediate step, all healing potions are now required to display a warning label stating that long term use of such potions could cause liver damage.

Adventurers are also concerned about the potions' rising cost due to the extra testing that needs to be done on the elixirs. Torok the Bold said "So I'm out battling some orcs and take quite a bit of damage. The orcs only have enough gold pieces to get me back to about 75% health. So I have to go out and battle some more. It's a vicious cycle, and it's the potion manufacturers getting rich, not me. And now I have to deal with liver damage too!"

The potion manufacturers are not scared by the discovery. “Today’s adventurers don’t really care about long-term effects” a representative of the potion industry explains. “If they did, they would have chosen a safer occupation in the first place. Our marketing department even believes that sales may increase as the over-consumption of potions becomes a part of a daring lifestyle.” The industry has no plans of developing less harmful potions but is presently looking into the marketability of a potion that cures liver failure.

Grimloc, who runs Elixirs 'r' Us, said "It's ridiculous. These people have a higher chance of getting trampled by a stone troll than dying from liver failure! They ruin my business for this."

Healing alternatives have quickly grown in popularity. Skylor the Magnificent, a wizard who specializes in healing spells, reported that sales were up (constitution + 1) percent.

Brian Briggs contributed to this report.

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