Apr 20 - May 20
The guys at the Computer Users Group aren't complimenting you when they say you've
got a magnetic personality. They think you're destroying their hard drives.
May 21 - June 21
Your taste in women is equal only to your lack of common sense. No more dating
girls you meet at Family Reunions.
June 22 - July 22
It doesn't matter if you've landed on an aircraft carrier. Jerry Bruckheimer
isn't going to put you in Top Gun 2.
July 23 - Aug 22
If life gives you lemons, don't rub them in your eyes again.
Aug 23 - Sep 22
The stars say your mother would like a new Radeon 9700 for Mother's Day so
she can finally play GTA Vice City. But then again, the stars have been known
to lie once in a while.
Sep 23 - Oct 23
While getting rid of a cubicle wall has doubled your personal space at the
office, using dynamite might not have been the best idea.
Oct 24 - Nov 21
You'll learn the hard way that customs officials lack a sense of humor. Next
time tell them your PS2 is a video game console, and not a "fancy case for
carrying around plastic explosives."
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Reading to your children before they go to bed is a great idea. Letting them
watch news about SARS and reading The Stand by Stephen King is not.
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Yelling "Get it off me! Get it off me!" might not have been the best
reaction when your boss' 4-year-old daughter gave you a hug.
Jan 20 - Feb 18
Always an over achiever, you set your clock ahead 2 hours for Daylight Savings.
Feb 19 - Mar 20
The moon is in the seventh house, and Jupiter is aligned with Mars. This means
that you won't get a new job by playing Euchre online twelve hours a day.
Mar 21 - Apr 19
Your knowledge of Gary Glitter songs won't win you any friends, but don't give
up. You're his last fan.