May 21 - June 21
The National Terror Alert level has reached orange, but at least now the country
is getting enough vitamin C.
June 22 - July 22
From all the talk around the office, it's pretty clear you missed another mind
numbing season of American Idol.
July 23 - Aug 22
You'll realize you're addicted to eBay when you end up paying $74.30 for a
copy of the Buffy The Vampire Slayer Game Boy game.
Aug 23 - Sep 22
Burning yourself on the freezer was quite an accomplishment, but nothing compares
to what you'll do with a can opener next week.
Sep 23 - Oct 23
You'll discover the unholy trinity of blue screens is comprised of Photoshop,
MusicMatch and Quicktime. Beware.
Oct 24 - Nov 21
That deaf, dumb, and blind kid sure plays a mean pinball, but you can kick
his ass in Unreal Tournament 2003, MUWAHAHAHA!!!
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Trust the stars, your left hand doesn't want to know what your right hand was
Dec 22 - Jan 19
You'll realize that you've become too immersed in The Matrix after an unsuccessful
attempt to graft your ethernet connection onto your brain stem.
Jan 20 - Feb 18
From where you sit you feel like you're on top of the world! Isn't the Mount
Everest webcam cool?
Feb 19 - Mar 20
No time for work this week you'll be too busy representin' the 138 IP address
block y'all. Fo' shizzle.
Mar 21 - Apr 19
Be sure to save those last two vacation days for the premieres of The Matrix
Revolutions and The Return of the King. I mean really, the family can do without
the long weekend in the country.
Apr 20 - May 20
Finding out you were adopted this week gives you a great sense of relief. You
knew you couldn't share genetic material with anyone who uses MSN.