Now you too can enjoy my Inbox without
the annoying spam. Every week I get some amazing e-mail. Some amazing
because of the sheer cluelessness of the sender, some because of
the time and energy that went into crafting them and some are just
The Matrix plays
a big part in the mailbag this week ...
From: Tim [mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org]
Sent: Saturday, May 17, 2003 10:18 PM
Subject: the matrix-news info for your website!
Hi, i just want to say, that your thing about the Matrix reloaded, its actually
the second part of the matrix! its by the same people who made the matrix
and thats why it has reeves in it! der
u guys are thick!
I love readers who point out that I'm mentally deficient.
The irony just entertains.
Same story, same response...
From: Jason [mailto:email@example.com]
Sent: Tuesday, May 13, 2003 10:49 PM
Subject: Your Article
In response to your column "Fans
Angry That The Matrix Reloaded
Looks Like Another Matrix Rip-off"
WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT! IT'S A SEQUEL...OF COURSE IT'S
GOING BE LIKE THE MATRIX DUMBASS!!!!
Why didn't I think of that?!?!
Lastly a link to a message board posting that fooled a few people...
This Week in
I thought it would be interesting to explore some of the ways
people find BBspot through Google. The top searches currently have
to do with three movies: Spider-Man
Return of the King and The
Matrix Reloaded. Here are some sample searches from my
Our searcher is unsure if he'll be able to understand The
Matrix Reloaded without some sort of cheat
sheet. Unable to find a crib sheet our confused searcher
begs the Internet to tell him "what
the hell is matrix reloaded about?" After finally
deciphering the movie, our searcher celebrates with some Matrix
cake. Of course, he needs something to slice
Content with his knowledge of The Matrix, our searcher
moves on to the Star Wars series and wonders if George
Lucas has any plans for new
characters in Episode III. Also, he ponders whether
Darth Vader really is the most
evil character in movie history.
With his cinema curiosity satiated, our searcher decides to
flip on some tunes. Is the new
Metallica album out yet? Or sequel the newly educated Vanilla
Ice did to Ice Ice Baby called Space
Space Rift? I guess not.
Frustrated that all his searches lead him back to BBspot our
searcher decides that maybe life
in another dimension would be the best solution. No luck
Help a Brother
Big Brother is saving you from the evils of BBspot. See if you
can help stop them.
Sent: Wednesday, May 07, 2003 5:31 PM
Love your site and normally visit every day. But now I find
that you are blocked from work by a program called "Smartfilter" (http://www.smartfilter.net/)
due to being a "Mature" (read porn) site. So much
for being "smart." I've pasted the error message
I sent them a note; the contact page is at http://www.smartfilter.net/contactus.html but
it might help if you and perhaps some loyal readers mailed
them as well. One complaint might not do it.
Take care, and good luck with the site.
One Bad Apple
A message with a more serious tone...
From: Christian [mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org]
Sent: Monday, May 19, 2003 2:31 AM
Subject: Apple Music Store Article
I happened to stumble upon your article on Apple users "paying
too much" for music, at one dollar a song vs. Windows
users who get music for free via file sharing services. I would
like to point something out to you. I have been using an OS
X equipped iMac for the last year or so and have done some
file sharing via Limewire on both it and my mother's PC. Therefore,
the idea of free music being a Windows exclusive thing is laughable.
Furthermore, since the release of the iTunes music store
I have begun purchasing songs, rather than stealing them. You
see, there is no such thing as a a free meal, or in this case
a free song. Your views are your own and you have the right
to share them with others, but I truley believe that that kind
of attitude is what will ruin the internet as we know it. We
will see more and more snooping and restrictions by Microsoft
and co. until it gets to the point where you wont have the
right to share your views, and I'll be forced to retract my
previous statement claiming that you have that right. All paranoia
aside, though, if you wish to be a thief then proceed to do
just don't try to mock Apple users because they happen to have enough money
to buy a few songs. I wouldn't be surprised if the same success takes place
when the Windows version is released. Ok, that's all. Peace.
I think many people misunderstood the article as being pro-piracy.
The article was making fun of Apple users who go ga-ga over
everything Steve Jobs releases. As someone who makes their
living from writing I'm very familiar that there isn't a free
lunch. I also realize that if record companies could prevent
piracy 100% that a CD would probably cost $50 and fewer people
could enjoy music. There is no magic bullet, only change.
Which Os is
More Matrix material...
Sent: Thursday, May 15, 2003 11:07 AM
To: Brian Briggs
Subject: RE: RE: Unsolicited (hopefully) Humorous Material
I can't believe that nobody has done a "Which OS does
the Matrix run on?".
It's obviously Windows though.
The following points are quite telling:
1. Glitches occur in the Matrix whenever you change something.
2. It is easy to hack into the Matrix
3. DRM software built-in tries to rid you of Morpheus.
4. Microsoft created the Agent software http://www.microsoft.com/msagent/default.asp
5. The User Interface is like having a giant metal spike shoved into the
back of your head.
Also the original movie had many windows crashing, a clearly
meaningful, if not subliminal, message about the Matrix origin.
That's all for this week!
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