Sep 23 - Oct 23
The computer problems you are having are definitely the hard drive and NOT the
(Brought to you by Asus)
Oct 24 - Nov 21
The stars are laughing at you right now about that tattoo you got three weeks
ago. Apparently they know something about "Loretta" that you don't.
Nov 22 - Dec 21
You might want to rethink your interpretation of what your boss said about
reporting you to the RIAA for downloading music, has he ever not been serious?
Try getting back on his good side by losing that massive subwoofer.
Dec 22 - Jan 19
It's time to change your answering machine message. Face it, Sailor Moon just
isn't the in thing anymore.
Jan 20 - Feb 18
There's nothing in the stars for you this week, but they promise they'll have
one heck of a doozy for you next week!!
Feb 19 - Mar 20
You will find it difficult to regain your position in the Geek hierarchy after
you are discovered using a Macintosh. Don't try using the argument that OS
X is BSD based until you get AOL off your system.
Mar 21 - Apr 19
You will be visited by ghosts and aliens one night this week. Prepare yourself.
Apr 20 - May 20
Beware the Halloweeners, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the flipping birds, and shun
The furious candy snatch!
May 21 - June 21
Making your front yard into a Live-Action First-Person-Shooter may have been
a really great idea for Halloween this year... except for one detail. That
jerk FUKuINdaA55 who's been whooping your ass in Unreal Tournament happens
to be the 9 year old girl up the street and she'll be showing up.
June 22 - July 22
You'll find the kids aren't very grateful when you give them AOL CDs instead
of candy this year.
July 23 - Aug 22
Don't get your hopes up. That knocking on your door is from Halloweeners, not
from anyone actually interested in visiting to you.
Aug 23 - Sep 22
A comment about a witch costume, the realization that it's November 1st, and
your mother-in-law will play an important part in your pain this weekend.