BBspot


Archives
 
BBlog
Happy Thanksgiving and a BBeliever Daily Links - 11/10/11 Daily Links - 11/2/11
BBloopers
Fun at Sea
Football Fans
Great College
Top 11
Top 11 Things Geeks Would Do After Being Rescued from a Mine
PC Weenies
The Neverending Story
Gratuity Not Included
Uptime Downtime
Geek Horoscopes
Random Geek Horoscopes
Classics
How White and Nerdy Are You?
Bush Proposes Faith- Based Firewalls for Government Computers
Microsoft Purchases Evil From Satan
Slashdot Story Generator
Which OS Are You?
Teen Using MySpace to Lure Bands to Los Angeles
The BBook of Geek
Recommended
Fark
[H]ard Folding Team
The Toque
Worth 1000
Joe the Peacock
PC Weenies
Mental Floss
Smashing Games
Free Codecs
SlushFactory
Geek Press
Wil Wheaton
Jonathan Coulton
I-Mockery
Um... Things
Jokes Gallery
Funny Pictures
More Links

Thursday, October 2 12:01 EST

USPS Sues Internet Users

By Jordan Baugher

Washington, D.C. - The United States Postal Service surprised citizens and lawmakers today by filing thousands of lawsuits against netizens with active e-mail addresses. Under the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, the use of e-mail violates the government-approved monopoly the USPS currently enjoys.

Art Benedum, a lawyer representing the Postal Service, quoted the part of the new law that grants the authority for this action. "Any business/government agency who has lost money because of services now provided freely by the Internet may sue to regain those funds, so long as their company/agency's name is a four-letter acronym."

Among the first to be slapped with a lawsuit was 7-year-old Regina Wells, who has been communicating with her father, a Marine in Iraq, via e-mail. When asked if she felt unfairly targeted by this legal action, she responded: "What'h a lawthoot?"

Ian Matthews, a specialist in law pertaining to gadgetry, explained that the USPS is now cracking down on what it calls 'postal pirates'. "This is an organization which has seen a 28 percent decrease in revenue since the rise of the Internet. They used to get royalties of 34 or 37 cents for every letter sent, but now letters can be sent for free, through what we call 'peer 2 peer' mail-sending."

Related News

RIAA Sues Mirror Manufacturers

RIAA Says Future of Music in Suing File Sharers

Microsoft Alleges US Government a Monopoly

Postal authorities are trying to get new legislation passed, banning these 'web sites' where these so-called 'e-mails' originate. If this fails, they have a back up plan to force Internet users to buy 'digital stamps'. "The digital stamps can be purchased directly from us by credit card, and can be used as 'attachments' with every e-mail sent. You don't even have to lick them," explained USPS R & D Vice President Nicholas Johnson. When asked why the Postal Service had a Research and Development department in the first place, he replied, "No comment."

More Tech News

Recommend this Story to a Friend

Previous Story:

Stoner Senator Wonders How Much Pot $87 Billion Could Buy
Next Story:

Scariest Geek Movies: Part III

 
 
RSS Feed Subscribe
Follow on Twitter Follow Us on Twitter
Facebook Fan Us on Facebook
Google Buzz Follow Us on Buzz
Amazon Find the BBook

 

  Politics Contact FAQs
A
D

sharepoint survey web part - make money online

Copyright 1999-2011 by BBspot LLC
BBspot is a tech satire news and geek humor source, and meant to be funny.
If you are easily offended, gullible, or don't have a sense of humor, we suggest you go elsewhere. Those without the geek gene activated should also avoid this site.