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The Spammer believes spam can solve any problem and answer any question.
He does not answer unsolicited questions and honors all remove requests.
No question is TOO LONG or TOO HARD. He doesn't have a stump and
he can't be stumped. Just
you try!
Dear Spammer,
After living in Earth for 20000 years, my fuel is starting
to run low... I've been using Tamal, a rare metal that is only found
on my homeworld as fuel... This metal is able to absorb low amounts
of energy and increase it several times.
Problem is, the metal is almost useless after all these years.
Now, my first idea was to brutally murder everyone in the USA
and feeding on the country's electric power.
Problem is, I'm not evil enough to do it...
So, what I really want to know is how can I become evil enough
to be able to fulfill my plans?
-Make Me Evil
Dear Evil,
Since money is the root of all evil, I'm going to provide my closely guarded
secrets to making a killing on eBay. Once you've made your killing on eBay,
you should be evil enough to get your energy back. If not, then you might
want to check out my online pharmacy which has plenty of pick-me-uppers which
will send your energy level SKYROCKETING!!!
-The Spammer
Dear Spammer,
How many jelly donuts must a man eat before he's massive enough for a jelly
donut to orbit around him?
-Jelly-filled in Springfield
Dear Jelly
Hundreds of jelly guzzling co-eds and G.E.N.E.R.I.C. VI.A.G.R.A will keep your
member in orbit for at least 36 HOURS. Don't take our word for it. Just ask
Oprah about the orbiting jelly donut!
-The Spammer
Dear Spammer,
All day, I've been surfing the net and the pages are loading really slowly.
I mean, the source code has come down, and I have read most of the page
before it renders in my browser.
It was happening at work, which I put down to the 70's era PC,
but it started happening at home too!
Does this mean the cops are coming to get me? Can you recommend
any countries to seek asylum in?
-Marvin
Dear Ralf,
You have cable Internet access, but your computers don't have a cable descrambler.
This high-quality descrambler is constructed of aircraft grade stainless
steel and fiber optic circuitry, and WORKS ON ALL DIGITAL CABLE SYSTEMS!!
Attach this low-cost device to your computer and your computer doesn't get
bogged down descrambling the Internet.
-The Spammer
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