Dec 22 - Jan 19
Try all you want, but neither a reboot nor a firmware update will fix your
vacuum cleaner. Try a new bag.
Jan 20 - Feb 18
Don't get too excited about that "hot date" with the gorgeous secretary.
She really meant what she said when she asked you over to, "Help fix
Feb 19 - Mar 20
The stars predict that your friends will try to help you by doing your work
for you this week -- you may want to prøøfread it, though.
Mar 21 - Apr 19
It may have been the way the cookie crumbled, but in so doing, it completely
disabled your browser!
Apr 20 - May 20
This Thursday you'll lose all faith in horoscopes.
May 21 - June 21
Those buddies from NASA sure are funny. Taping your only locker key to the bottom
of the Mars rover was a good one.
June 22 - July 22
You’ll have trouble convincing your friends of your total lack of virginity.
July 23 - Aug 22
You'll realize that your protest about the new US policy of fingerprinting
foreigners went a bit too far when you find it difficult to use
your computer without fingers.
Aug 23 - Sep 22
Sure, the network rejected your "How Many Supermodels Can I Sleep With?" reality
show, but it was fun doing the pilot anyway.
Sep 23 - Oct 23
Admitting you bet on Quake Deathmatches is only the first step towards entering
the Gamers Hall of Fame.
Oct 24 - Nov 21
Your week will be filled with intrigue and romance as you conclude
your soap opera watching marathon.
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Your mention of your old 14.4 modem will trap you in an hour-long
reminiscence of archaic computer parts with the VP of Engineering.
Loose lips, miss coffee breaks.