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Now you too can enjoy my Inbox without
the annoying spam. Every week I get some amazing e-mail. Some amazing
because of the sheer cluelessness of the sender, some because of
the time and energy that went into crafting them and some are just
simply amazing.
Kessel Run
I'm not posting any of the messages I received this week trying
to explain to me about the Kessel Run. I thought I have been clear
about this issue, but obviously I have not. Yes, I understand how
the statement could be correct, but these explanations were created
after the mistake. Since, so many people have e-mailed the explanations
it only proves my point even more: That some people just can't
accept the fact that Lucas made a mistake.
Evolution If you have to explain the joke then it loses its humor value.
Such was the case with the evolution
BBlooper that was posted last
week. I received so many e-mails I have to respond. If you got
the joke then you can just skip this one...
From: Edward
Sent: Wednesday, February 18, 2004 6:42 PM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: bblooper -
what's circled in this bblooper is the evolution story and the
8 million year old whale story. The highlighted text is The
earth is only 4,000 years old. Ooops, sorry.
I don't see the blooper..
1) GA is a stupid southern state so banning evolution curriculum
would be no surprise.
2) "The generally accepted age for the Earth and the rest
of the solar system is about 4.55 billion years " from http://www.talkorigins.org/faqs/faq-age-of-earth.html.
Neither of these seem like screw ups to me.
Yes, neither are actual screw ups. However, many creationists
(like the kind who want to ban evolution in schools) believe
the world to be anywhere from 4,000-10,000 years old. Thus,
the juxtaposition of a story about banning evolution and a
fossil that is eight million years is humorous. See, it's not
funny any more.
Danger to Society
Offended by the BBspot
Poll? There's a first for everything...
From: Mark
Sent: Tuesday, February 17, 2004 7:22 PM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: Problem with your poll
I am terribly hurt by your latest poll (danger to society).
I noticed that "People named Mark" is an option and
to add insult to injury it (currently) ranks third. As a "Mark" I
find this deeply offensive.
I try my hardest to bring down society and this is the thanks
I get. On the plus side I think this is as close to a celebrities
breast I'll ever be able to get, on the down side it's a Jackson's.
I promise to try harder in the future
Mark
Hour Lost
This is in reply to our recent Area
Matron Prefers Internet Over Web story...
From: Jeff
Sent: Monday, February 16, 2004 5:29 PM
To: Brian Briggs
Subject: On a related note...
I once tried explaining to my mom (who's 55) that the Sun
is only just a star, like the others that we can see in the
sky
at night. I spent some time on this, and I'm not completely sure
she even believed me, even less understood what I was talking
about.
Banned in the USA
I guess these following e-mails are a sign of the growing popularity
of BBspot...
From: III
Sent: Monday, February 16, 2004 11:31 AM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: Congratulations!
BBspot has made it to the list of blocked websites at my company.
Previously this honor was limited to sites like www.fuckedcompany.com
(who posted an internal memo about layoffs at my company at
one point), but now apparently someone with not nearly enough
work to do (how this guy survived the many, MANY layoffs we
have had here is anyone's guess) has decided that BBspot takes
enough company time to be added to the list.
I've been a reader of BBspot for years now and don't plan on
letting this stop me, but it sucks that I can't start my day
with it like I used to. Anyway, congratulations!
And...
From: Dave
Sent: Monday, February 16, 2004 4:54 PM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: bbspot banned
Love your site. I used to read it every day at work (while
compiling my code of course). For some reason your site has
been blacklisted
by my company - XXXXXX, a pretty darn big defense contractor
with around 70,000 employees.
I'm thinking that we had too may people checking the latest
satire and overloading our crappy web servers. Guess I'll have
to spend my compile time reading the latest corporate propaganda,
and check bbspot from home.
Thankfully, my employer still let's me surf the site.
Future BBspot Writer
Website Owner Sued for Ugly Picture
By Jonathan
Hickman
Farmington Hills, MI - Humor web site operator Brian Briggs was
stunned late Wednesday afternoon after being notified that he
was to meet in the Farmington Hills City Hall for allegations
that a picture on his website caused irreversible emotional and
mental damage to Alice Joyce, a soon-to-be mother of two living
in the same city, and Ben Farrior, an octogenarian within Buffalo,
New York.
 "I would occasionally visit the web site because
the content is quite funny," said Joyce. "However,
when I looked to the right of the page, I made a frightening
discovery."
With a trembling voice, she continued to described
the ordeal. "I looked into his eyes, and I just began
vomiting. It was truly the most horrible thing I had ever seen." Within
minutes, she was rushed to the emergency room of a local hospital
where she almost had a miscarriage.
This would be the first time that a single image on the Internet,
apart from those featuring celebrities with nipples exposed,
has caused such controversy. Farrior also related the negative
reaction he had to the image. "At first, I'd thought I'd
seen the devil himself. And then I realized it was [Brian Briggs].
I grabbed my heart because it stopped beating for a moment
and immediately ran to the restroom. After 8 hours and 3 rolls
of
toilet paper, I knew it was something that needed to be stopped." Farrior
then burst into tears.
The question arose as to whether the web site owner, Briggs,
could be held responsible for the reaction of people to his
picture, but as the tension mounts, more people are signing
a petition acknowledging
the negative effects the picture has had on them. Robert Jones,
a lawyer in Idaho, addressed the concerns of the people involved
by offering a class action lawsuit against Briggs.
Briggs was
not available for comment.
If you feel that you have been negatively affected by this
image, you may be entitled to punitive damages. Please contact
the
hotline (long distance charges may apply) at 866-UGLY-WEB.
That's all for this week!
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