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New York, NY - Nokia announced the upcoming release of the “Drunk-Phone
that will eliminate calls received at an early hour from inebriated
friends.
 The "Drunk-Phone" comes with an integrated breathalyzer,
which determines if the person wishing to use the phone is sober
enough to do so responsibly. If a high enough blood-alcohol level
is detected, the phone becomes inoperable.
A marketing survey conducted by Nokia showed most cell phone customers
think the new feature is a great idea for other people's phones,
however they feel that it is unnecessary for themselves.
Jason Plimpton, a college student from San Diego State University,
said it's a great idea. "That would cut down on the number of
drunk calls I get from my friends. I don't think that it should be
mandatory though, I mean, it's not like I drunk call people."
"Jason, are you kidding me?" responded his girlfriend, Kerry
Stiles. “You don't remember calling me at 2:30 in the morning
last night saying that you killed a spider? And what about the time
you called [Jason's ex-girlfriend of three years prior] Cynthia,
and told her you loved her and wanted to come over and bang her?
You were so drunk that you didn't realize I was standing right next
to you!"
The "drunk call" feature will not be activated until midnight
on weeknights, although it will be activated all weekend, since most
college students view the time between Friday afternoon and Monday
morning as "drunk time".
This article appears courtesy of the fine folks at The
Fake News.
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