Feb 19 - Mar 20
The stars indicate that big hair will back soon, so you should
schedule an appointment with your stylist!
Mar 21 - Apr 19
Your practical joke of literally blinding every one with science
in chemistry class won’t go over well with the school board.
Apr 20 - May 20
Knocking a few seconds off your Rubik’s Cube solving time
will not translate into a better prom date.
May 21 - June 21
You will find yourself in need of a large blunt object to protect yourself from
muggers. Always take your car phone with you.
June 22 - July 22
The stars recommend a second mortgage for that acoustic coupler modem. Blazing
the BBSes at 110 bps will make you the envy of all.
July 23 - Aug 22
Video will not only kill the radio star, it will completely
massacre good taste and a couple of schnauzers as well.
Aug 23 - Sep 22
You willl be frightened by your readers when your April Fool’s joke
of writing bad Lord of the Rings fan fiction is met by unending requests for
Sep 23 - Oct 23
You will get in a lot of trouble this week after you misunderstand what they
meant by Coke is it!
Oct 24 - Nov 21
Your friends want you to know that all your talk about Tina
Yothers is creeping them out. Stop it.
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Everybody was kung fu fighting. Of course it’s a martial
arts class so that probably explains it.
Dec 22 - Jan 19
The stars suggest betting the farm on CP/M. We’ve got
a good feeling on this one.
Jan 20 - Feb 18
That New Kids On The Block shirt will really dig the chicks this
Friday night at the disco. Unfortunately, the star predict you will
break an ankle, arm and collar bone trying to get it on while walking
down the stairs.