Hoboken, NJ - Doctor Mark W. Fyords, PhD, head of research and
development at Keebler, announced that his team has finally succeeded
in porting the 2.4 Linux kernel to run on a Cheez-It.
"We are constantly receiving new suggestions, and we get email
from creative homemakers who are always pushing the envelope. This
cracker is on the cutting edge," Fyords said. It is this motivation
and community spirit that has driven the snack biscuit to success.
Keebler will also be introducing their own Linux distribution. The
distribution will be called Snackware, and will ship with several
unique packages and applications. Snackware includes Krackers, a
KDE application for storing or "racking" items on the desktop.
(This was originally titled The Pantry Project.)
According to Fyords, the Cheez-It running Snackware benchmarks at
975 Cheese MIPS when stored in a dark and dry compartment.
Homemakers everywhere are excited about the treat's new potential.
At a local Tupperware User's Group in Atlantic City, Barbara Jenkins
said, "I have always enjoyed reading the suggestions on the
back of other boxes. But Cheez-Its always paled in comparison to
other snacks." In fact, the Cheez-It box until now altogether
lacked any creative serving suggestions. Jenkins continued, "With
the Triscuits, I can cover them in salami or microwave them with
cheese. Until now there was almost nothing I could do with my Cheez-Its." Now
Jenkins says she looks forward to running high-powered server applications
on her Cheez-Its to serve as the web tier in her "kitchen infrastructure."
Keebler recommends that for the database tier, administrators use
Keebler's Saltines running FreeMSG.
Nabisco spokesperson Lana Tuffet, speaking for the Wheat Thins division
of Nabisco, said she is not concerned about the announcement and
that Wheat Thins does not intend to compete in this market. "We
think this is more of a market for chip manufacturers," Tuffet
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