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Things Google Plans to Do with Their IPO Money
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11. |
From this day forward, always get extra cheese on the pizza. |
10. |
Hire staff to create Google in more silly languages like Klingon and French. |
9. |
Hire hitmen to take care of all the bloggers involved in Google bombing. |
8. |
Spend every last dime on keeping "Friends" on the air for one more season. |
7. |
Buy t-shirts for everybody saying, "My company had an IPO and all I got were these lousy stock options worth $30,000,000." |
6. |
Quit while they're ahead. |
5. |
Use the really nice china, they save for when company comes over, every day. |
4. |
You can't put a price on the profound good to mankind that is achieved by pissing off Bill Gates. |
3. |
Pay marketing company 1.2 billion for 10 new words that rhyme with Google. |
2. |
Stop using Froogle to buy their toner cartridges. |
1. |
Prove once and for all that money really can buy happiness. |
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