BBspot


Archives
 
BBlog
Happy Thanksgiving and a BBeliever Daily Links - 11/10/11 Daily Links - 11/2/11
BBloopers
Fun at Sea
Football Fans
Great College
Top 11
Top 11 Things Geeks Would Do After Being Rescued from a Mine
PC Weenies
The Neverending Story
Gratuity Not Included
Uptime Downtime
Geek Horoscopes
Random Geek Horoscopes
Classics
How White and Nerdy Are You?
Bush Proposes Faith- Based Firewalls for Government Computers
Microsoft Purchases Evil From Satan
Slashdot Story Generator
Which OS Are You?
Teen Using MySpace to Lure Bands to Los Angeles
The BBook of Geek
Recommended
Fark
[H]ard Folding Team
The Toque
Worth 1000
Joe the Peacock
PC Weenies
Mental Floss
Smashing Games
Free Codecs
SlushFactory
Geek Press
Wil Wheaton
Jonathan Coulton
I-Mockery
Um... Things
Jokes Gallery
Funny Pictures
More Links

Thursday, June 17 12:00 AM ET

Microsoft Makes Offer for Iraq

By Watley Review

Redmond, WA - Microsoft announced today that it is offering to take Iraq off the President's hands for $10 billion.

"Acquiring a small to medium sized nation has been part of our strategic growth plan for some time," said Microsoft cofounder Paul Allen. "We've been going about it piecemeal to date ­ investing in an educational system, a private space program with Space Ship One. But we've realized that we have an opportunity here to accomplish one of our long-term goals quickly for a reasonable price, while helping out our nation at the same time."

The Bush administration has promised to relinquish control of Iraq by June, but its plans for transition have been plagued by violence and uncertainty among its tentative provisional government.

"Well, I think we have to take this offer seriously," said National Security Advisor Condeleeza Rice. "The prolonged conflict in Iraq is a drain on the president's popularity, and handing over control to a company like Microsoft would absolve him of further responsibility. Plus, Microsoft has promised to make the payment with large bags of $100 bills live on MSNBC. You can't get better PR than that."

International law is vague on whether a private corporation may legally acquire a nation, but independent analysts are more concerned about whether Microsoft is the organization to do it.

"You need to look at this as Microsoft Nation 1.0," said United Nations undersecretary of corporate affairs Yolanda Fremont. "Bear in mind that security is a big problem in Iraq right now, and that security is not Microsoft's strong suit. I can just picture monthly "patches" being issued in the form of commando squads or armed raids, with new problems popping up immediately after each one. The country will be at the mercy of hackers within a year."

Related News

Microsoft Purchases Evil from Satan

Microsoft Nearing Completion of Death Star

Microsoft Announces Ads for Blue Screen of Death

"Of course, that's not much different than how things are going now," admitted Fremont.

President Bush has not made a decision, though he is reportedly favorable to the idea. However, Vice President Dick Cheney is distinctly less enthusiastic.

"Being able to exit on schedule with a nice pile of cash would be good," said Cheney. "But I thought Halliburton had dibs."

Story used with permission from our fine friends at The Watley Review.

More Microsoft News

Recommend this Story to a Friend
Previous Story:

Trailer Review: Spider-Man 2
Next Story:

Y2K Software Fix Licenses Expiring

 
 
RSS Feed Subscribe
Follow on Twitter Follow Us on Twitter
Facebook Fan Us on Facebook
Amazon Find the BBook

 

  Politics Contact FAQs
A
D

sharepoint survey web part - make money online

Copyright 1999-2011 by BBspot LLC
BBspot is a tech satire news and geek humor source, and meant to be funny.
If you are easily offended, gullible, or don't have a sense of humor, we suggest you go elsewhere. Those without the geek gene activated should also avoid this site.