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Campaign Pledges You'll Never Hear
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11. |
"...and every household in America will have easy access to cheap prostitutes! " |
10. |
"No more mispronunciations." |
9. |
"I will roll back the tax cuts for the wealthy, as well as the first amendment." |
8. |
"I support the big companies you buy stuff from! A vote for me will help their bottom line." |
7. |
"I'll find a good position for your daughter on my staff." |
6. |
"The MPAA President will be made a cabinet level position." |
5. |
"The cozy relationships with lobbyists and special interests will be stopped, because I will declare myself King of the World and all will bow to me." |
4. |
"Once I'm elected, all my financial contributors will be rounded up and shot." |
3. |
"I promise I will single handedly take down this mighty beast called the Internet so we may all once again rest peacefully at night." |
2. |
"And I will give up my paycheck as president and donate all that money to Hooters." |
1. |
"Absolutely, positively, no sex with corpses." |
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