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Things a Consultant Would Say
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| 11. |
"We need you to tell us what you do. Everything. In writing. So we can hire someone cheaper to read from what you write." |
| 10. |
"Would you say this is something a high school kid could do? Hypothetically." |
| 9. |
"We think your job could be done more efficiently if you weren't doing it." |
| 8. |
"We've flown these nice young men a long way to see you. The least you could do is train them how to do your job." |
| 7. |
"Profits will be much higher this year because of lower expenses, which would be great for your bonus if you weren't part of the lower expenses." |
| 6. |
"How would you feel about relocating your family to New Dehli and doing the same job for half the pay?" |
| 5. |
"We're not firing you, we're converting your job to a mobile format." |
| 4. |
"We've determined we can save money by classifying your job as hourly and taking away your insurance and the hours you work." |
| 3. |
"This year's bonuses will be paid in stock options. Please hold onto these until after the liquidation of assets is complete." |
| 2. |
"Your managers think you might be happier working from home. With another company." |
| 1. |
"Is that a roll of quarters in your pocket, or have we just transferred your job to a 12-year-old boy in the Phillipines?" |
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