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Tuesday, November 2 12:00 PM ET

Reasons to Vote

11. To escape the "get out the vote" phone calls, mailings and door-to-door volunteers on election day.
10. Perfect opportunity to check if your e-vote hack is in place.
9. Because if you don’t vote, the terrorists win. (unless you were going to vote for the terrorists, in which case they win anyway).
8. It’ll be good practice for the court-ordered recount election to be held Feb. 9, 2005.
7. Because this year Al Franken will literally beat the shit out of you if you’re not wearing an “I Voted” sticker.
6. To shut up all those "If you didn't vote then you can't complain" people.
5. Your opportunity for vote for people with funny names like "Kuntz" and "Bloho".
4. You like to stand in lines and pretend you're in line for Pirates of the Caribbean at Disney World.
3. Because there's an easter egg in the e-vote machine. Hit right-right-left-Kerry to see Britney Spears naked.
2. To relive those test taking days in college when you just filled in the circles randomly hoping to get some right.
1. Because this is the most important election of our lifetime, (unlike, say, 1996, which was, like, totally lame. Why did they even have an election then?)

 

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