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Friday, December 10 12:00 AM ET

Geek Horoscopes
Get the "Best Of Geek Horoscopes" T-shirt

This week's horoscopes brought to you by They Might Be Giants

Sagittarius
Nov 22 - Dec 21
An embarrassing situation will happen with your blind date, you'll go to Constantinople while she'll be waiting in Istanbul.

Capricorn
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Congratulations on making a hole with a gun perpendicular to the name of this town in a desktop globe. Too bad your foot was in the way.

Aquarius
Jan 20 - Feb 18
It would be wise not to make bets against Triangle man. He always seems to win.

Pisces
Feb 19 - Mar 20
The stars agree that you should be allowed to glue your poster, but perhaps your monitor was not the best place to do it.

Aries
Mar 21 - Apr 19
You may be having a wonderful time whistling in the dark, but just reset the circuit breaker so people can get back to work.

Taurus
Apr 20 - May 20
You may think you have found a new friend underneath your pillow, but it's really just a puddle of your own drool.

Gemini
May 21 - June 21
No one knows your plan. Sadly, not even you.

Cancer
June 22 - July 22
Nothing is smelling like a rose, especially you, time to change those clothes.

Leo
July 23 - Aug 22
Following an angel this weekend could prove dangerous, because that means you have to throw yourself off a building.

Virgo
Aug 23 - Sep 22
You're not done, and you won't be till your head falls off? Funny, that's exactly what Marie Antoinette said in 1793.

Libra
Sep 23 - Oct 23
Don't worry. The stars will figure out what makes your face implode sooner or later. Worse comes to worse, they'll send a meteor your way to do the job.

Scorpio
Oct 24 - Nov 21
You'll be looking forward to getting a lady and a cigar this week, until you realize you're just a guy made of dots and lines.

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