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Friday, January 21 12:00 AM ET

Game Box Review: Doom 3

By Brian Briggs

Reviewinator

Trailer Quicktime
Developer id
Official Site Link
US Release

August 2, 2004

Rated M (Blood, gore, intense violence)
Genre First person shooter
Gamebox Clichés Quote from gaming website, monster with chainsaw, system requirements
Explosions 1
Weapons Big teeth, chainsaw, shotgun, BFG
Flip Cover Yes
In a World... "Only one man stands between Hell and Earth..."
Game Box
Déjà Vu
Doom ][
One Word Review Dark
Spoilage Factor 15%
Geek Factor 80%
See Box? Yes
Play Game? Yes

One reader suggested that since I do trailer reviews of movies, and have all these games which my computer can't play, I should do game box reviews. Here at BBspot, when we see an opportunity to review something based on specious information, we embrace it.

Doom 3 comes in a standard game box size with a flip cover. The creators have also improved the flip cover with a handy piece of Velcro to keep it closed. It's small enough that it doesn't bend the cover when you try to open it, but large enough to keep the cover closed. Nifty!

The cover has the familiar DOOM logo with a similarly fonted 3 next to it. It also features a quote from PC Gamer "A masterpiece of the art form", id's logo and the game rating which is M. I must've missed the meeting where first person shooters were declared an art form.

The monster on the cover has had some trouble with steroids. He's excessively muscular and hairless and has quite the drooling problem. Looks like somebody blasted off his nose too. That's probably fortunate for him, because I am sure that drool is pungent.

Beware the blood and gore

The top and sides of the box are nicely designed with the Doom 3 logo centered on each side. A nice touch by the box maker, so you can see what game it is from almost any direction.

The bottom of the box contains the system requirements for the game. The requirement listed which my computer does not qualify are processor (1500+) and video card (64 MB). The creators even go further and list which video chips are supported. It's great to see a list of so many cards all in one place that are more powerful than mine. The bottom of the box also features a black and white bar code with "Made in the USA" printed underneath. I'm not sure if the game, box or just the UPC symbol were made in the USA though. That could be made clearer by the box designers.

The back of the box has some great artwork and hyperbolic text. The graphics are of your character with a hefty shotgun and three sets of monsters. First, there are the zombies, which are part of the "terrifying atmosphere". Second, there is the monster from the front with a chainsaw, which is "disturbingly lifelike" (I guess he does kind look like Jason Giambi). Lastly, there is a helmeted human blasting away and he is in a "fight for your life."

The rest of the text is hyperbole with terms like "masterpiece", "pulse-pounding action", and "you can hardly see the monsters it's so dark."

Thankfully, the back of the box also lists the URL for the game, in case you've never heard of the Internet.

It's a monster explosion from Hell!

Open the flip cover and you're hit by a massive explosion. OK, it's not a real explosion, but it looks like one, and with monsters coming out of it. You can't get much scarier than that. I see floating heads, fat guys with no pupils, steroid man and multieyed guy with three fingers. The monsters are portrayed as much larger than the puny humans in the lower left corner, but at least the humans have BFGs.

The text on the inside explains the background to the story. An ancient Martian civilization has unlocked the secrets to teleportation, but of course, it can only teleport monsters out of the depths of Hell. Who knew? Your assignment is to prevent these monsters from ever making it to earth. I'd suggest removing the keys to the space ship since none of these monsters look bright enough to hot-wire the thing.

Conclusion on Box: Quality graphics, but a bit too much hyperbole. Wouldn't anybody ever believe a game is a "masterpiece"?

Conclusion on Game: There will be plenty of weapons for you to blow up many different monsters.

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