Thursday, January 27 12:00 AM ET

Ebay Admits Strange Auctions Just Corporate Marketing Technique

By Brian Briggs

San Jose, CA - A representative from Ebay admitted that most of the strange auctions that make the news were posted by a secret marketing department within the company and not by regular Ebay users.

"We feel it's an effective way to get our name in front of the consumer," said Mark Childs from Ebay's public relations department. "These silly auctions don't harm anyone. Well, except for that one baby auction we forgot to take down in time, but that's an exception."

Childs said, "We know people are getting tired of them. We suggested randomly assassinating a top executive each month to get attention instead of auctioning off the liver of a twelve-year-old, but the top brass was against that."

One Ebay user's suspicions were confirmed by the news. "I knew no real person would be auctioning off a rare 'Forbidden Orchard' Magic: The Gathering foil card," said Ebay user Samuel Moore. "That was a real auction? Oh, never mind then."

The secret marketing group inside Ebay, made up mostly of recently graduated philosophy majors, creates the auctions from a bunker under a nondescript cement block building in Omaha.

Related News

Carson Daly's Brain Found For Sale on Ebay

Geek Antiques Roadshow

Man Hopes Episode III Doesn't Ruin His Childhood

CyrusX, who heads the group, said, "It's getting difficult making up auctions that will make the news, and creating all the positive feedback for our 'sellers' is getting rather tedious as well."

With the recent dip in the stock price, Childs admitted that soon the headline "Ebay For Sale on Ebay" might become a reality.

More Tech News

Recommend this Story to a Friend

RSS Feed Subscribe
Follow on Twitter Follow Us on Twitter
Facebook Fan Us on Facebook
Amazon Find the BBook


  Politics Contact FAQs

sharepoint survey web part - make money online

Copyright 1999-2011 by BBspot LLC
BBspot is a tech satire news and geek humor source, and meant to be funny.
If you are easily offended, gullible, or don't have a sense of humor, we suggest you go elsewhere. Those without the geek gene activated should also avoid this site.