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Wednesday, June 22 12:00 PM ET

Yo Momma Insults for Physicists

By David Olsen

11. Yo momma's so fat the only curve on her is the curve of space-time that occurs around any super massive object.
10. Yo momma's so ugly Schroedinger's cat was all-dead just knowing she existed.
9. Yo momma's so fat she accounts for the missing 90% of matter in the universe.
8. Yo momma's so fat her first diet ever is going to be called "The Big Crunch".
7. Yo momma's so stupid she thinks Galileo is Spanish for 'girlfriend'.
6. Yo momma's so fat she contradicts a heliocentric solar system.
5. Yo momma's so stupid all of her family calls her a special relativity.
4. Yo momma's so stupid she thinks "Haw" is a middle name, and Steven Hawking wrote "The Stand".
3. Yo momma's so ugly, stuff running from her accounts for the acceleration of the expansion of the universe.
2. Yo momma's so fat her waistline is called the event horizon.
1.

Yo momma's so stupid she thinks this line is false.

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