July 23 - Aug 22
Five years in prison will hopefully teach you to take your Leatherman out of your pocket and leave it a home before going through airport security.
Aug 23 - Sep 22
Yes, the stars are aware that you have great knowledge of statistics, but they are sure that THIS time you will get a Royal Flush. Bet it all!
Sep 23 - Oct 23
You and your war buff buddies will be disappointed when you find out it's the Grand Canyon, and not the Grand Cannon.
Oct 24 - Nov 21
Singing " New York, New York" on the Staten Island Ferry was funny the first time. The other 58 were not.
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Yes, dropping a Pentium III processor off the Sears Tower is just as dangerous as dropping a coin.
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Your struggle to find a good American beer will lead to a serious hang-over.
Jan 20 - Feb 18
Going to the Niagara Falls website doesn't mean that you've actually been there.
Feb 19 - Mar 20
Remember to take screen shots from the game endings for the vacation scrap book.
Mar 21 - Apr 19
The quality of your vacation will go down as you remember that you didn't have a job in the first place.
Apr 20 - May 20
Good weather next week means your vacation is over.
May 21 - June 21
You'll be meeting up with friends you've only meet online. Don't worry, only two of them are axe murderers.
June 22 - July 22
Good news, the Lost Coast will be open in time for your summer vacation from City 17.