BBspot


Archives
 
BBlog
Happy Thanksgiving and a BBeliever Daily Links - 11/10/11 Daily Links - 11/2/11
BBloopers
Fun at Sea
Football Fans
Great College
Top 11
Top 11 Things Geeks Would Do After Being Rescued from a Mine
PC Weenies
The Neverending Story
Gratuity Not Included
Uptime Downtime
Geek Horoscopes
Random Geek Horoscopes
Classics
How White and Nerdy Are You?
Bush Proposes Faith- Based Firewalls for Government Computers
Microsoft Purchases Evil From Satan
Slashdot Story Generator
Which OS Are You?
Teen Using MySpace to Lure Bands to Los Angeles
The BBook of Geek
Recommended
Fark
[H]ard Folding Team
The Toque
Worth 1000
Joe the Peacock
PC Weenies
Mental Floss
Smashing Games
Free Codecs
SlushFactory
Geek Press
Wil Wheaton
Jonathan Coulton
I-Mockery
Um... Things
Jokes Gallery
Funny Pictures
More Links

Friday, August 19 12:00 AM ET

Trailer Review: The Cave

By Brian Briggs

Reviewinator

Trailer Quicktime
Starring

Cole Hauser
Morris Chestnut

Director Bruce Hunt
Official Site Link
US Opening

August 26, 2005

Rated PG-13
Genre Thriller
Explosions 2
Weapons Teeth, Claws, Knife

Man Quotient

2

(Explosions + Weapons + Hot Babes - Kisses)/ Minutes

Voiceover Yes
"In a world..." "They were never seen again..."
Trailer
Déjà Vu
Anaconda
Spoilage Factor 65%
Geek Factor 15%
See Trailer? No
See Movie? No

After the horror of Deuce Bigalow, we now face a new horror: The Cave.

An expert group of spelunkers (except they don't use the word spelunker, because that would be too scary for America) has been organized to find out what happened to seven men who never came back from the largest cave system in the world. The ragtag bunch of spelunkers, who will easily fall into preprogrammed stereotypes, gets attacked by some monsters and find their only known exit blocked.

Everyone knows the plot points of this movie. A final showdown with the queen mother of the creatures. Someone or thing that we thought was dead will come back to life. Someone will sacrifice themselves for the rest of the team. A final explosion will close the cave forever, or does it.

The "flying knife" scene.

The trailer flashes on the screen, "Beneath heaven lies hell, beneath hell lies The Cave. Beneath the Cave, a long, long, long way down, lies Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo." OK, it didn't say the part about Deuce Bigalow, but it would've scored some points with me if it had.

As well as the generic action, the trailer has a shot reminiscent of Reign of Fire where one of the characters is jumping with a knife towards a flying monster. I made the mistake of thinking Reign of Fire might be good. I won't make the same mistake with The Cave. In fact, I'll make a rule: Any trailer with a "flying knife" scene will be given a bad review. I don't think I can miss with that one.

If the flying knife scene doesn't get you excited then maybe this thrilling dialog will:

"How big was it?"

"It's big."

Simply riveting!

What this trailer needs is more flying knife!

Revealing the monster in the trailer is a big mistake. I like surprises. The producers of The Cave trailer don't. There are several shots of the monsters which look like pterodactyls on steroids. Doesn't seem like a great adaptation for surviving in the closed-quarters of a cave, but that could just be me.

Conclusion on Trailer: The trailer does have one good fright moment, but the rest is predictable and uninspired. This one isn't worth the download.

Conclusion on Movie: Looks formulaic and predictable. No big stars or compelling plot, so let this late-summer thriller stay underground.

Not sure if you should believe me? Check out the Dysfunctional Family of Five reviews at DeadBrain.

More Trailer Reviews

Recommend This Story to a Friend

Previous Story:

Terrorism Fueled by Caffeine
Next Story:

BBspot Mailbag

 
 
RSS Feed Subscribe
Follow on Twitter Follow Us on Twitter
Facebook Fan Us on Facebook
Amazon Find the BBook

 

  Politics Contact FAQs
A
D

sharepoint survey web part - make money online

Copyright 1999-2011 by BBspot LLC
BBspot is a tech satire news and geek humor source, and meant to be funny.
If you are easily offended, gullible, or don't have a sense of humor, we suggest you go elsewhere. Those without the geek gene activated should also avoid this site.