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Tuesday, January 24 12:00 AM EDT

Reasons the American Government Is Spying on You

11. Accidentally searched for "how to build a nuclear weapon and blow up the Super Bowl"
10. Never downloaded Star Spangled Banner MP3.
9. Tendency to choose terrorist side in Counter-Strike.
8. If you're not with us or against us then we're not so sure about you.
7. A good friend of yours tried to get into the NSA but failed. Miserably.
6. Wacky parents named you Ima Terrorist.
5. Lots of email from prominent African dignitaries' widows and brothers .
4. Encyclopedic knowledge of Constitution and Bill of Rights is just scary.
3. You created a top 11 list which is now the #1 search result for "how to build a nuclear weapon and blow up the Super Bowl".
2. "Vote for Pedro" t-shirt too subversive.
1. You don't live in the USA.

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