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Friday, May 12 12:00 AM ET

Trailer Review: The Da Vinci Code

By Brian Briggs

Reviewinator

Trailer Quicktime
Starring

Tom Hanks
Audrey Tautou

Director Ron Howard
Official Site Link
US Opening

May 19 , 2006

Rated PG-13
Genre Thriller, Mystery
Explosions 1
Weapons Whip, handgun, knife, truck

Man Quotient

2.6

(Explosions + Weapons + Hot Babes - Kisses)/ Minutes

Voiceover Yes
Trailer
Déjà Vu
Forrest Picasso
Spoilage Factor 40%
Geek Factor 30%
See Trailer? Yes
See Movie? Yes

When I read The Da Vinci Code, I thought that it would make a better movie than a book. One-dimensional characters and unbelievable plot points are much better suited for film.

Tom Hanks. Everybody likes Tom Hanks, if you don't like Tom Hanks you're probably a member of Al Qaeda. Actually, those guys probably like him too. After this movie less people will like him, especially the people who think this is a "controversial" film. You know who you are, and you don't read BBspot.

The trailer opens with Tom Hanks lecturing about symbols and how they help us understand our past. Symbols like the stop sign and the middle finger have a deep rich history. The producers of this film were thinking of the dollar sign most likely.

Hanks is called away from his book signing to a murder at the Louvre. A naked grandpa has been killed, but before he died he left a message in a secret code. He left it on the Mona Lisa. He'll be fined for that.

This is a brainsucker. What's it doing? Starving. MUWAHAHAHA.

Only Langdon can break the code, or a smart thirteen year old with knowledge of anagrams. It's much more interesting when Tom Hanks does it with the help of a pretty woman.

Tom is told he's in grave danger. He runs away like a scared little girl into the arms of Magneto/Gandalf. We're not sure which though. Will Lord Teabing be the Evil Ian or the Nice Ian? Tom must break the code to find out. I don't remember, so it will remain a mystery for the ages, or until May 19th.

Tom tells Ian he's in the middle of something he cannot understand. Hmm, maybe he isn't the guy that can break the code. Ian tells him it's the biggest cover up in human history. The Greedo shooting first conspiracy!

Then there's a long action montage with the requisite minicars needed for a car chase in Europe. And albino monks, don't forget the albino monks. They tend to see things in black and white, or just white.

The last 31 seconds, over 20%, of the trailer are credits. That's excessive for a film of this magnitude. I'd expect that of a Uwe Boll film, but not from Tom Hanks and Ron Howard. That doesn't give me a good feeling.

Conclusion on Trailer: Those familiar with the book will recognize most of the scenes from the trailer. It's well acted and has good music, however, too much time is spent on the credits. Give us more of the film.

Conclusion on Movie: This will be one of the rare cases where the movie is better than the book. I admit, it wouldn't take much to accomplish that, but this one will be a good ride.

Not sure if you should believe me? Check out the Dysfunctional Family of Five reviews at DeadBrain.

More Trailer Reviews

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